Myself, being a 29 year old married woman with a child and one on the way, never ever thought i would be interested in anal sex. I have had many partners before my husband and never once entertained the idea. On our wedding night, after talking about it with my husband for months (he had never tried it either, being most of his sexual conquests before me were inexperienced girls and were all prudish to even get fully naked) i finally decided to try it. Man, we couldnt even complete penetration it hurt so bad, its one thing to eat the wrong thing that constipates you and when you pass it while crapping it feels like your ass is being torn apart, but its another to voluntarily have that feeling recaptured over and over and over. It took probably several tries and many different positions to accomplish the goal, and every single time it hurt terribly and i thought to myself "why are you doing this, for just one of you to get pleasure isnt worth a stretched out bunghole and all this pain"
but once we found the golden ticket, the perfect position, and i mean PERFECT, it became a ritual. And still is. Once out of every 3 times i'd say, we end up that way, and to my husband, who is grossed out by NOTHING, its like the ultimate rewarding sexual finale for him. If this pleases him, i can tolerate walking funny and a burning butthole for a few hours. Mind you, i love it, its something new, something exciting, something very erotic about it, the after effects arent always the best, but i am glad i waited and i am very glad its not as taboo as before, i would reccommend it to any girl out there. just if one position doesnt work, find one till it does :)

Yuck! Never in a million years would I even consider having anal sex. Not only do I believe it to be morally/biblically wrong, but I know for a fact (from the experiences of friends) that it is not medically safe. Your rectum is for voiding, not for taking in! I cannot imagine how much it would hurt. My husband and I enjoy a great sex life, and he's not into anal sex at all - it is, after all, your "crap shoot!"

I am a woman who has anal sex with my husband from time to time (and have done it with exes). I'm also about to shop for a strap-on because my husband and I want to try it with me doing him. So I am definitely no prude. I have to say, I hate this article. These men are disgusting and selfish, and they are objectifying these women horribly. And then they brag to their friends about it like they're in high school! When someone trusts a person enough to either try something new or do something that is sexually, physically painful for the other person's pleasure (and in the hopes of pleasure eventually triumphing over discomfort), it's unfortunate that someone would shit all over it by speaking about the act, and promoting thinking about the act, in such an objectifying manner. It's also unfortunate that this article ends on such a foul note, as if to glorify these guys' bad behavior and immature perspective.

"For most of my friends, it's sort of a domination thing," says John (not his real name), 30, a writer in New York. "[It's] basically getting someone in a position where they're most vulnerable. My friends enjoy that and they tell their friends they did it. But it's not like girls are ready for it—it's something they do when they're really drunk."

This is rape. John (not his real name) is bragging about getting people drunk and doing things they aren't "ready for." That's rape.

Its called lube and foreplay, with enough of both anal can be fun for both, with no unpleasant buring.

And surprisingly enough men have assholes and can enjoy pleasure there. Shocking I know but you can find it a few inches back from your balls. You know what else your sexuality is not determined by were you get pleasure only the sex of the person giving it. Trust me give it a try you might like it.

Men who enjoy inflicting sexual pain on women because they think it's intimate have something wrong with them. It's also sad to hear women talking about enduring pain and discomfort for a man's sexual pleasure. Since when was sex not supposed to be enjoyable?

If men are so enamoured with anal sex I say buy your female partner a strap-on and experience it for yourselves.

Good grief, what a catalog of inhumanity! These men quoted in the article think it's acceptable to get women drunk and persuade them to do things they don't want to do; then consider them "disgusting pigs" for doing them; then admit that they enjoy inflicting pain on another human being. They're a bunch of sociopaths.

It is not OK to demand any kind of sex. Sex is supposed to be something you both want to do of your own free will. Sex that you don't want is rape.

A friend forwarded this to me because they, like me, were horrified by what he saw.

Is it ever OK to "Demand" anything sexually, Peter? Or, should I assume that the only way in which you and your readers get sex is by force or demand?

If, in the future, you ever do get a woman into bed, here’s a little tip: the train in your ever so classy photo is headed closer to her vagina than her rear – furthering the point that you’re the asshole in this article.

I have had my brush with anal sex, in the same way I imagine alot of sexually unsure, pressured girls have had a brush with anal sex.

We're going it at it, sort of, and he misses. He misses, but because I felt sexually insecure, I did not protest or try to correct him. He keeps going. I start faking some cheerleading. He realizes what he's doing. He keeps going. I realize he's gonna keep going. My ass hurts. I don't know what to do. It's the age-old 'I-started-it-now-I-have-to-finish-it' situation that kind of starts to feel like rape. He finishes. I need to wash.

'Til this day, Chris is unsure if I liked it or not, and will try and tease me about it. I didn't like it, and I don't care what it may cost me, but I don't do shit I don't like doing anymore. Mostly, because I know a man would never do it for me.

'demanding' sex makes you a pig.
liking a sex act because it hurts and demeans your partner (and no one is part of the BDSM community, i'm assuming) makes you a pig.
making sure she's good and drunk before inflicting your prick on her because you know she won't say 'No' makes you a pig.

in particular, an ass-raping pig.

It did seem as though the men in this article are a bit "pigish" It's a little sad if you must get a girl drunk to have sex with her. As far as these women who won't even consider it, I would ask you to do a little research and think about it. I am not currently in a relationship where I am having sex, but I know that the next one I'm in anal sex will be a major factor of our relationship. If done correctly anal sex feels great. Giffy put is well "lube and foreplay" are the key. There are just as many nerve endings around the opening of your anus as there are in the bottom 3 inches of the opening of your vagina. I think anal goes both ways though... If he wants if from me, then I think he needs to consider taking it too.

It is NEVER okay to demand ANYTHING from your partner, asshats! These dudes are practically rapists, depending on their partners to just submit for fear that they'll get left behind for a girl who'll open up a train station between her legs. And them, of course, everybody will think she's a dirty, dirty girl for doing what her "loved one" demanded she do.
It's a no-win situation.

And that fucking picture! Jeezus-h-christ, could it BE any more offensive without being X-rated? I don't think so.

You guys make me sick.

I like it, done it four times with two consenting girls, they liked it. Video'd it once. It's not such a big deal in reality. But secretly us men give it a "heeeeyyyyyyyy!" thumbs up when we've had it. And me girlfriends probably do the same.

Let's get real and let's get honest. Men who have to go up the butt of their significant/insignificant girlfriend's ass are men who are trying to manifest their inner secret desires to have sex with other men. "Brokeback Mountain" anyone? Anyone? Also, any chick who says she really enjoys having her ass ripped apart is a liar. See the lust in her eyes? You should see the look on her face the next time she tries to take a crap. Not a real come-hither-to, if you know what I mean.

My wife admits to enjoying anal when she is drunk (loosens her ass up, of course) and never regrets it the next day. So what the hell? Where's the harm?

This article here is proof that men are pigs. If someone were to write an article going both ways; maybe discussing not only men who demand it, and even men who are horrible, immature, and chauvinistic enough to call women pigs, as well as a view from the 65 percent of women who don’t enjoy anal rape, maybe it would be acceptable. But this article seems like it was written by men sitting around burping, farting and drinking beers, discussing how they like to get women drunk, and treat them like dogs so they can inflate their egos a little more. Are you such mindless, butal, unfeeling animals that you have anal sex with girls so that later you can high five your friends about causing a girl pain, and then call her, that girl who gave you pleasure, the girl that allowed you to penetrate her body, a PIG? I can accept that some girls enjoy it, that’s fine. But for men to think that every girl wants it, or to even expect it? That’s wrong. This is what internet porn is doing to our society. Women are degraded, and men think it is ok. I have two friends that I know of who have had anal. One of them wanted to try it. She had to sit in a hot bath crying, holding her boyfriend’s hand for an hour afterward. Another didn’t want to admit that she had allowed it to happen when she was drunk. This article is an insult, and it encourages men to degrade, humiliate, and hurt women while they are at the most vulnerable position. Well boys, if it makes you feel more powerful, more manly, go for it. But do not think for one second that it’s just OK and every woman wants it.

pigishness aside, what this piece really says is that these guys don't know what the hell they're doing.

they don't know anything about women's bodies and i bet they don't know anything about their own. if they knew something, they'd know that plunging helter skelter into someone's ass is not only an unsafe sex practice (hello, disease) it's unskillful. how would they like someone's dick/dildo ripping through their second sphincter, huh?

and why isn't this piece talking about straight guys liking anal - on them? not manly enough? too 'gay'? no wonder men have the emotional range of a teaspoon: they can't even talk about what gives them pleasure without pairing it with causing pain to someone else.

what a man. oohh. hot.

This pathetic piece isn't nearly as controversial as the writer of this piece would like to imagine, or in any way insightful.

Some people enjoy anal sex, some don't. It's not a gender issue, and it's not a sexuality issue: some men (straight gay or otherwise) find anal penetration fun, some like to give and some like to receive. And the same goes for women, (hello Tristan Taormino!).

Sex should be about finding someone with whom you're compatible and enjoying experimenting together, not about forcing someone to take part in an act which you want to perpetrate upon another person, regardless of their preferences.

And in case anyone above didn't make it clear enough: ANAL SEX SHOULD NOT HURT. IF IT DOES, YOU'RE DOING IT WRONG, YOU NEANDERTHAL.

I would also like to add, I work in a sex shop, and the number of women buying strap-ons to use with their male partners is quite astonishing: boys do like it up the arse too.

What a nauseating article. Who are these clueless jerks, and why do they feel entitled to demand anything of any woman? Coercing someone who's inebriated into sex of any sort is rape. The guys quoted in this article are rapists. And the author clearly thinks they are amusing.

Disgusting.

I agree that consent is the key, this article is repulsive, and the 'men' quoted in it are sociopathic pigs. I'd like to ad this: anal sex causes long term damage including but not limited to rectal prolapse, anal fissures, secondary infections, incontinence and bleeding. Sexy, 'eh? And women are more prone to these problems as we age anyway, and anal sex speeds up the process.
Women who feel like they need to endure pain to please a man to make him like her are kidding themselves. No man worth having would want to hurt the woman he is sleeping with or coerce/rape her. Ever.

Oh, dude, that's HILARIOUS, nothing FUNNIER than joking about drugging and raping a woman! woo-hoo-hoo. Can we start making jokes about Deliverance and prison-rape now? Would that be really hilarious? Because I think it might be.

we're all adults. what two consenting people do with each other is their business. the men featured in this article are, lets say it together, disgusting! coercion or pressure has no place in the bedroom. i really dont think this discussion is about anal sex, but sex and popular cultures attitudes about it. and also, i like the photo pictured, very low-brow surrealist.

I'm not totally sure I'd call most of what was talked about in the article rape. I think it really is coercion though and sadly, that's really common and awful. But I wouldn't call that force.

The title is ridiculous because the article never really asks or attempts to answer the question that is in the title.

This writer chose an strange group of guys to talk to. He just picked some guys who seem to have a nasty frat boy mentality. They hate and objectify women, but not all men do and not all men view anal sex that way. And while these particular guys sound fairly sadistic they seem very far away from BDSM, which I think actually does involve more respect than what these gays are talking about.

Ha, and someone said about this article that they should write one about guys who like to get pegged, and women who like to do it to their men. That would be far more racy than this trite article. Wow, anal sex and fratboy types, so taboo, oh my! These are just the type of guys who view sex as something a man does to a woman, not something two people do together in a partnership.

And for the record, I'm a feminist, I love men, I'm not a whore, I'm in my late 20s, and I'm comfortable saying that I'm not only pretty hot, but I'm also pretty hot in the sack. And I still just think this article is trite and sad.

PE

Any sex that requires the use of force, even a "little push," is RAPE, dickblister. Look in the mirror. THAT is what a rapist looks like.

Um, I hope you mean "without consent", not "with force". I can't imagine anyone having intercourse without some form of pushing in a bit..

anyhow, that thing about anal sex not being medically safe is bogus. Only counts if you're an idiot and just try to force it without lube. I'm had little to no interest in it in the past, but my girlfriend asked for it, and well, I've pleased her that way a couple times now. She enjoys it, so I enjoy it.

But anal on the first date -- come on. That's stupid. Anal is not "the new oral".

If you have to bully to guilt someone into saying "yes," it's not really consent, is it?

Did you boys get banned at IBTP which is why you had to come over here for the argument?

Obviously no one should force sex on anyone or push them to do anything against their will. But is coercing or coaxing someone always rape? That would seem to mean that many woman are guilty of rape too. Rape is serious and to throw the term around loosely is dangerous.
Forget for a moment the word "demand", the point of the article is that straight men are focused on anal sex, which is now an increasingly common and socially acceptable act. I just don't believe this is a new phenomenon—not like it's a new sex act—guys are talking about it more without being considered latently gay. Maybe that's the point.

No, my account is still active but thanks for asking

The list of medical issues that arise from anal sex is absolutely true. Here is a link, although it is only one of many. I suggest everyone take a proactive stance on their own health and do some research on their own:

http://www.pamf.org/FAQ/FAQ/fx=q/id=306/t=a/c=9/a=13/tid=1/kw=1/z=null/faq.htm

In consensual sex between adults people can do whatever they enjoy, as far as I'm concerned. However, if your girlfriend is not enjoying it, if she is not initiating it why in the hell would any real man want to do it? And if you know that on top of her pain/discomfort it is medically documented to cause severe long-term problems, why would you any real man want to do it then?

If hurting someone else is the only way a man can get off, that man needs therapy.

I can't fathom why anyone would suggest Bitey needs therapy because she dared to speak up and defend herself. What a tool.

Only a man could "forget" that the word "demand" is in the title. The article isn't really about the "new" phenomenon of anal sex (please!) but rather about men getting off on coercing women into submitting to pain.

Coercive sex is rape. It may not get prosecuted much, since the legal system is full of dickblisters like you rape apologists, but coercion=FORCE. Never forget that women know exactly how dangerous men are. You even say it yourself - it's "dangerous" to throw the term around too loosely. Dangerous to whom? Not men, I'm certain of that. It's always women in danger. Women often submit to unwanted sex for fear that the coercion will turn into physical force. It's not funny, and it's not empowering, and it makes YOU, the persuader/coercer/pusher, a rapist, whether you like that term or not.

I don't think women are as weak and scared shitless every time a man propositions them for sex. Just because you say it's rape doesn't make it so darling. Hell at least let women talk for themselves. I don't think the first person who commented here appreciates you calling her own husband a rapist.

Well, that's a tidy little straw (wo)man argument there. I never said women feared a "proposition." I SAID, and you can read it right up the thread, that when a woman is being coerced, pushed, etc., she often submits for fear of being physically forced. In case you haven't noticed, most men are larger than most women. Let us pass over in silence the well-documented violent tendencies of the American male population.

Coercion and a "little push" exist on the same continuum as violent rape. If you can't see that, then how do you know you HAVEN'T raped someone? When does a "little push" become actual physical force? When does coercion become a threat of violence? We never know what the hell you all are capable of.

Ok, some of the guys in the article are pigs and I think the article is purposely crafted to be controversial, but a lot of the people posting comments here are taking offense to anal sex altogether, regardless of the motive or intent. I’m a woman who enjoys anal sex and toys inserted anally. It wasn’t good every time I tried it, but with the right partner, it is an amazing and intense experience for both the man and the woman. If you respect and trust each other and if you’re comfortable together, then anal sex can add a new dimension and a very intimate connection to a physical relationship. With the right partner and when you’re doing it right, anal sex doesn’t hurt at all and I’ve never felt like I am being raped or torn apart. I do feel like my partner is “dominating” me, but that’s one of things I like so much about it (there are other reasons, but I mention domination since it’s been brought up in a number of the posts). I’m not ashamed to say, I enjoy being dominated to some extent, but domination can take many different forms. It’s also one of the reasons I enjoy being with a man who is a lot taller than I am and who weighs significantly more than I do. I love that and I know a lot of other women do, too. The key is to find a partner whose main motivation for anal sex is not to high-five his buddies in the locker room. Then again, I would never even kiss a guy like that, much less give him access to my ass.

I have no problem with women who like anal. If they get pleasure from it, that's awesome, and they should feel free to do what they like. But that's not really what this article is about. This article is about men who get a sexual thrill from hurting people, who think of their partners as "disgusting pigs," and who are rapists. And Mr. Rubin and the publishers of the magazine apparently have no problem with that.

Hmm. The comments and the title have been cleaned up, but the rapey, rapey article is intact. I guess the publishers care a little about advocating rape, but not too much? Whatever.

I was pressured into trying anal sex and it was no thrill for me, plus it hurt and I had no great feelings of self worth after. I tell my husband if he is willing to let me do him with a dildo, then I will let him try anal sex. If I have to try so hard to "find the right position to enjoy it, or just keep trying till I like it," is it really worth it? Same with a blow job, no big thrill for me there either, and it is a little demeaning. I tell my husband, when he shows me he can ram a banana down his throat 10 or 20 times without throwing up, then I can too! So, you big strong men, put up or shut up!

First off... the photograph is hot, hot, beautifuly Hot!
That said... readers... if you have ever viewed any anal porn, have you ever seen a voiding mess occur? No! Because the performers have an enema or an anal douche to clear the road- if you will? 99.9% of anal bottoming cleanliness anal (no pun inteneded) self conscious gay men will not let any dude near their road entry until the sanitary things are handled. Sure it takes away the spontanaiety of a chance anal encounter, but certainly no more than running into a muddy road. Check our your local sex emporium and ask for douche devices that can be connected to your shower head. Yeah, yeah, I hear some of you readers going 'ugh' but hey, doing the douche prep sure beats a 'Painting' by some chance anal road running. Now I'm wondering why this has not been thought about by on hetero folks out there who are doing the old hiney hide? Take this 'for a hotter road ride time' advice lesson from a gay man that likes his and their roads squeaky clean and free of debri. A mess is a
date/viagra/road ride romance killer.
dancer1

Why not just swish your penis around in a toilet?

Here we go...Anal is not the new oral and it's not the old anal either. The guys quoted in the article are, indeed, creeps. But this practice is becoming more openly talked about because it is intimate and satisfying and we are becoming more open about sexual pleasures.. However, "demand" never has a place in relationships unless it is for honesty and mutual consent always has a place. I am glad that the subject of enemas in relation to this type of love-making has finally come up. That is a no-brainer. My wife and I found early on into our relationship that oral sex easily and logically led to rimming each other. At that point, before we dared any further, cleansing evacuations became a necessity and we made it a fun ritual. They actually became part of the intimacy leading to more and more exploration. First it was a finger (into me or her) then more. We learned that no amount of saliva on a sphincter or a penis was going to be enough to permit easy penetration but that ample lubricants was the answer. Going down on her with a finger up inside her backside was a turn-on for both of us. Her going down on me with a finger up mine was great as well. Having gone that far we both wanted to go further and we did...slowly. With lots of lubrication and initial easing with first one and then two fingers, she could easily accept my erection without pain or discomfort and could stimulate herself while I stroked in and out of her tight bottom. We would pause for a rest and a sexy shower and then go at it again or variate with her going down on me and fingering me or me fingering her while she rode me cowboy-style. It is all part of our array of intimacy and it is all done without demands and with complete consent. By the way, guys, did you know that even after you've come a couple of times you can have numerous cum-less orgasms by having your prostate massaged by a loving finger with or without fellatio? There is no shame in anal sex and lots of satisfaction to be had by giving and receiving for both men and women. Cherokee

I am a very big fan of anal sex. I think that the idea of women and anal sex is a subject that is pretty well explored(even though some of my female friends still won't admit it) i believe that the subject of men and anal sex (and i mean str8 men) is one that needs brought out into the open. Men have this idea that if they let a girl play around down there that it makes them less of a man, or gay. Definately not the case. I speak from personal experience, it's not a "GAY" thing, it is a "GUY" thing. And believe me guys try it, you won't be the first or the last.:-)

The only man who has the right to "demand" anal sex is the one who just took a large dildo up the anus by the woman whose anus he is "demanding" to screw.

For a lot of girls the first time or the first few times they have intercourse they feel some pain. That doesn't mean they just give it up - at least not the vast majority of them. Same thing with anal sex. I personally know many girls who like anal sex and they don't just do it to please their bfs or whatever. They love to get pounded in the ass.

Gee, there's a new one: calling a woman "unhealthy" and "super sensitive" because I'm calling you dickblisters down for being pro-rape. Thanks for your "concern," but I'm just fine. But you knew that. You just thought calling me crazy might send me crying to the shrink. Boo-fucking-hoo. Y'all are the ones who need a head-check if you think all women aren't living lives proscribed by the daily rapey antics of your brethren.

Great that the site managers have done something about the horrific original title, and removed some of the nastier comments that keep surfacing, however, I'm still wondering when they plan to act on the whole pro-rape tone of the article.

In other words, 'John's' comments about anally penetrating a woman who 'wasn't ready' for it, was drunk at the time, and experienced pain as a result of his actions. Actions which he then brags about with his low life friends using terms such as domination to describe it.

That really needs to go, as 'John' is describing anally raping someone in an article about whether anal sex is essential in healthy relationships.

men nowadays inspite of all the literature available on what women like in the bedroom still dont have a clue. we are still a bunch of cavemen. sex is a two way pleasure street when in love!

The reason anal gives more pleasure to the guy is that the orifice is smaller and tighter than the vagina and therefore there's more pressure on the penis (specially is the guy is on the small side). It's more intense. Besides lube, the guy should go down and work it slowly with his tongue, then fingers and only go inside when she's relaxed and ready to take something hopefully bigger.

I've had anal sex over two thousand times since losing my virginity twenty years ago - more often, in fact, than I've had vaginal sex. In all, I've had it with fifteen women. Of the fifteen, two have declared it to be something they really didn't enjoy, but they nonetheless continued to make the experience available to me. I think it's true, certainly for me, that the real pleasure is psychological. I enjoy the sense of sexual dominance which it affords me, and having anal sex has always gone hand-in-hand with my other interest of spanking. There is something strangely erotic and titillating for me about a woman acquiescing to my desire to spank her or sodomise her; about her knowing, for example, that in lubricating her rectum, my fingers may well have come into contact with a yet-to-be-evacuated stool (and this has indeed happened with each and every woman I've sodomised). Now, I'm not into scat, so the relevance of this element must surely be to do with my wanting to feel that I've dominated her and taken ownership of her in some way; that I've accessed her in the most intimate way imaginable, have even touched her shit, and that she's allowed me to do so. And that she knows, and will know every day for the rest of her life, that I've been inside her 'sacred hole'. I find that an exciting thought, which makes me think it must all be about power.
Away from these sexual 'peculiarities', I think I'm an okay guy, still good friends with many of my exes (some of whom I occasionally still sleep with). Among the women with whom I've had anal sex have been teachers, marketing managers, a doctor - women who you'd expect to have a handle on what they want or don't want. I'd love to know more about what I get from this experience. You'd think I'd know, but I don't. It isn't anything to do with the sensations, nor with any latent homosexuality (so far as I know!), and I don't think the reason of 'just happening to like women's bottoms' goes anywhere near far enough in explaining the obsession...

I am a 21 year old guy who has had anal sex many times...at one point I was doing it once a day every day for 3 months. I was tried to receive twice before and I do admit that not only is it painful in the beginning, but also it was uncomfortable for me, but a lot of people actually enjoy it. I have always been the giver and would probably never receive again, but in a life style where your partner is another male, anal sex is not something that is frowned upon. As I was reading through these comments, the second entry had stated about it being biblically wrong but that could easily be the same for oral sex to. What people do in their own bedrooms should not be judged by any one else, hell, half of everyone who is sexually active no has either tried anal sex and/or is still practicing it. So in other words, let people do what they want, no one tries to control anyone else's life.

That's all.

I've been with my wife for a dozen years and we have anal sex frequently, generally in conjunction with her using a vibe: it's often the cherry on top of the cream on top of the... you get the idea. What I don't understand is how anyone would brag about it to friends. That's miserable - what better way to shatter the trust it takes most women, initially, at least, to try it.

I'm writing this from Australia and, here at least, it's 2007 and I reckon most of us have better things to talk about. You blokes should have more respect for your women.

This article, even with the revised title, is pretty disgusting and definitely sociopathic. I don't know if most men think this is normal maleness, or do not realize that the porn they consume is turning them into rapish misogynists or not? I would not marry or want to marry or want to be in any kind of relationship with these digusting excuses for human beings. They certainly are not capable of a real relationship with a real person and any kind of attempt to have a relationship where an individual wants to inflict "Pain" on a woman who is "not ready" or where they want to have a certain type of "sex" that inflicts "pain" or think that temporary "pain" in sex is ok and turns their partner into "disgusting pigs" would be a disaster.

It's worrying how the boundaries of what it is acceptable to demand from a woman keep on shifting, taking in more and more extreme acts. The problem is that as this process continues, activities that some women find distasteful swiftly become the 'norm', and men feel they have a right to expect them.

Some men, for example, visit prostitutes claiming that their wives are doing them an injustice by denying them oral sex; they've begun to see it as a marital duty, the absence of which makes infidelity justifiable.

I suppose anal sex will be the same, and as soon as women bite the bullet and accept it, something else will come along which men will demand, and whch a lot of women won't want to do.

There's a consumerist greed about attitudes to sex nowadays; it's searching for thrills, and because those thrills are so shallow, they easily lose their appeal.

hmmm. It seems like some people can only think of anal sex in terms of domination/submission. True, for some guys the feeling of dominance plays a large role in his desire for putting his penis in a girl's butt. But this is true of any kind of sexual activity - be it oral sex or vaginal intercourse or whatever. And obviously for a lot of other guys (I'd say the majority), the dominance part is only a very small factor if not non-existent; this goes for any type of sexual act.

Me personally I'm obsessed with women's asses. Whenever I see a sexy, curvy, tender (like the one in the pic) ass immediately I get hard. The only thing I want in the world at that moment is to touch it, feel it, kiss it, lick it, gently slide my penis up and down through the crack. Penetrating this beautiful ass is just a result of the culmination of all these feelings and my arousal; it has nothing to do with domination but everything to do with pure physical pleasure and the satisfaction of this deeply intimate act - to feel your most intimate part of your body inside the body of someone you love or lust after.

I think some of you ladies (specially noneya) are just afraid you will like it too much if you tried it. But it's nothing to be ashamed about. Anal sex is beautiful.

Okay, a question: If you have a loving relationship with the woman whose bum you regularly enter, and you always have consensual anal sex and don't do anything which evidently demeans and humiliates her, does it matter if, secretly in your own head, you enjoy the sense of dominance/control/power that taking her anally might afford you? In other words, can a man justifiably be accused of humiliating and demeaning a woman, and of acting misogynistically, if his behaviour towards her is loving and she doesn't know about what's actually going on in his head, ie - that he's getting off on his domination of her?

I hate to break it to you Jonathan but we know what's going on in your head and why men (actually) desire anal penetration.

Darn ya!

do you gals enjoy anal sex thats the question?

THE ASS IN THE PICTURE IS A GUY'S ASS...WE KNOW YOU DETAILS!

Ah yes.. where to even begin. Let's start with the whole rape issue. Being a woman, I must say that I have been in some uncomfortable positions with men that want more than I am willing to give them.. but do I choose to succumb out of fear that they will take it anyway. Hell No. That is the dumbest thing I have ever heard. Any woman that does this is about as much of a woman as the men that share high fives when they doop a girl into anal sex on the first date. And YES, i said doop, b/c the woman is a frieking moron to be convinced of something she doesn't want. Either way.. RAPE ocurrs when you say no and it physically forced upon you, or you are incapable of saying no (ie-passed out). Being too damn stupid to assert yourself and then having regrets later is pathetic.

Secondly, I am amazed at how many of my fellow women are so eager to jump at every man out there for the quoted words of a few moronic men. This is the same as expecting every man you pass on the street to be cheating on their significant other because 'that's just what men do'. It sounds to me that Details is read by a group of man hating 'damaged goods' and 16 year frat boys that shop at abercrombie

Women had a movement a few years back in case you didn't know where we fought for equal rights both socially and professionally. The only way to maintain (yes, I said maintain, because it is there if you require it, because like everything else in life, it is not handed to you) this level of equality is to show you have a backbone and self-confidence and not let childish men 'demand' things of you.

So what happens?.. the man says(insert idiot guy voice here) "have anal sex with me or i won't date you" or "come on baby, let me stick it in your ass" or "come on.. just the tip just for a minute.. it won't hurt that much".. i mean seriously... what stupid ass woman sticks around and is like (insert bimbo voice here)"oh well if i let him, maybe he will love me" or "maybe he will want me to meet his mom afterwards" or "wow.. i must be special to be treated like this".

WOMAN NOT STANDING UP FOR THEMSELVES IS PATHETIC and SOCIALLY RECESSIVE.

Personally, I LOVE anal sex... and the fact that it hurts a little just increases the erotic level, the same as when my nails leave small marks in my husbands back because i lose control sometimes. That does not make me a freak or a whore.

I am a working mother of three and I can guarantee you that my daughters are not naive enough or insecure enough to grab their ankles for a kid so immature i wouldn't swerve my X5 out of the way if he was in the road.

Nuff Said

Although I don't necessarily have a problem with the subject matter of this article, I DO have a problem with its tone. I think this article represents a small segment of the male population that gets a thrill out of calling their girlfriends 'disgusting pigs' after pressuring them to accommodate their sexual 'demands' and then subsequently bragging about such blatant sexual and psychological abuse to their buddies. To make matters worse, these men believe that the failure of a woman to engage in a sexual activity that is uncomfortable for her to be a 'deal-breaker' for the continuance of the relationship. How sad. This group of men will never have healthy, enduring relationships, because they base the quality of the relationship on how much they are permitted to degrade their partners. I think writing the article as if this is how all men think and behave does a grave disservice to men who view sexual expression as an enhancement of the trust and intimacy found in a loving union between two partners who respect one another.

Unfortunately, it is this tone of the article that distracts the reader from the true essence of what is being discussed. In an attempt to write an article about a specific sexual act, what you have really done is write an article about male dominance, sexual abuse and the degradation of women... and are proud of it. I purchased your magazine because I'm a fan of Daniel Radcliffe's; however, my first impression of your publication has left me completely turned-off. I will not purchase it again.

About a year ago my girlfriend and I were really on the rocks. But, at least in my opinion, the sex was still amazing. I had never showed any interest in anal, and quite honestly I didn't want to do it. It just seemed kind of gross. Still does. Anyway, one night she just said she wanted to try it. I said I didn't, she said she really did. So i was like what the hell. We tried it. It was nothing special - The whole time I thought, "this is what it's like doing it to a guy." Needless to say it totally turned me off. I didn't enjoy it.
Like a week later we broke up for about 3 months. We ended up back together and the poor girl told me she had pains there ever since! I felt terrible, the last thing I wanted to do was give her PAIN. But she was the one who wanted to do it in the first place.
Looking back, I think she wanted to do it because she heard guys like it and knew we were on the way out, so maybe thought if we did anal I'd stay around... But sex was always great with us, its too bad she tried fullfilling an already amazing department of our relationship and left other ones out to dry.

PIITB FTW!!!11!!!!eleventy!

I really am disgusted by the article; "demand" is crap, and the guys interviewed are loathsome on many many levels.

However, I'm just as disgusted by radical feminists. Bitey, you being anyone's "wife" is not believable at all. (By the way, I hope your make-believe "husband" doesn't bother going down on you; that would be "demeaning" like it is for you to do it for him. Sheesh.) Whoever said "rapey"? Give me a freaking break. If you didn't have your head so far up twisty's ass you'd know it is not cute, clever or funny to make up stupid words by randomly adding prefixes and suffixes; it's just dumb. I don't post there so don't bother asking.

As far as anal sex, I've tried it. I've used a vibrator to do it to a man as well (no, feministicals - see, I can do it too - not all men refuse that.) Though I never had the slightest desire to strap anything on; it was done manually. Once I even enjoyed it (like cherokee mentioned, it's not as bad with the woman on top and manual stimulation simultaneously), though the aftereffects are not pleasant. Knowing that it takes a tremendous amount of effort to do it in a way that doesn't hurt, and that there are always going to be aftereffects, and that there are genuine health risks, and not least of all that I actually do find it rather demeaning, my husband and I don't do it. He mentioned it some years ago (we tried it once or twice much earlier on), but I told him I don't want to, and why, and that was that. No demands; he doesn't want to do anything we don't both enjoy, and neither do I. We're too old to waste time on things we don't both like.

I don't doubt some women enjoy it, but I do think some greatly overstate the case, and that some just do it without genuinely liking it. Also that some have never even really experienced mind-blowing orgasms (or multiples) to begin with, so they don't have much basis for comparison. Not to say that some superficial rectal stimulation with the fingers doesn't often add a lot, because it can.

I think the article could have been greatly improved by not just talking to loathsome men, but rather by talking to men and women who have tried it, who either like or dislike it, and talking to the creeps as a sort of side-issue, or a cautionary issue.

By the way, there is some really nice eye-candy on this site (as in, really hot men to look at) so I'm going to be looking more often ;)

My comment about "Bitey" should have been to nanaran. Sorry.

The men quoted in the article are rapists. He admits that usually the women he has anal sex with "aren't ready for it" and are usually "drunk". The whole article is disturbing. Since when did rape become acceptable by men and this magazine, and various forms of sex about "domination"?

First we are introducted to a man called "Todd". Atleast he gets a name. His whore/madonna complex mate is called "Miss Ladylike" and we soon learn what he does to "Miss Ladylike"..

Further on in this misogynist masterpiece we get quotes like:

"The physicality of it..BEING PAINFUL ..OR WHATEVER"

"Every girl is a disgusting pig who wants it"

and testimonies from a rapists who admits to anally penetrating girls who are "Really drunk" and "not ready for it"

Honestly you people are really sick. I can't believe any magazine trying to be mainstream would publish something sick like this.

If she is Miss Ladylike then I guess the rest of the characters in this filth are Mr. Sadist and Mr. Rapist

To the Editor RE: August aritcle on anal sex.
This article has caused the most talked about topic in my recent parties, dinners, and get togethers. I think it has finally broken a much needed taboo. Both my male and females friends are actually acepting to talk about. During two dinner parties, some male friends have finally accepted to enjoy 69 with oral anal sex (mutually). Now, that is a greater taboo to break. I learned from my sisters that it was okay for a straight male to enjoy sex everywhere! I dare you to address this topic.

While I think that many of the reactions posted here are total (over)reactions, I do think that the article illustrated some gross and sadistic tendencies of a few sociopaths. In my experience, most men are interested but usually pretty tentative about trying anal sex. Most women don't seem to know enough about it or their own bodies for that matter to ever find enjoyment in it. I have found that if you share this very intimate form of sex with someone, you really should be at a place sexually that you can fully experiment and enjoy it. Any man who "demands" any kind of sexual act (or anything for that matter) should be kicked to the curb without another thought. This is not the 1940s and this is not the Deliverance!

This article was lacking in so many ways. The overall attitude was "many dudes expect this and don't care if they cause a lady pain. Therefore this is socially acceptable behavior". At the very least, some feedback on what kind of lube works well or where one could find more information on how to make it a more comfortable and enjoyable experience for both parties...

Anal play can be very intense and very rewarding (for men and women). One word... Lube. Preferably a silicon-based lube and fingers. If you aren't going to touch it with your fingers first, you have no right to take your dick on that journey...

Women know quite enough about their own bodies. Nice blaming of women for anal hurting.

All sex should be about men and women enjoying eachother. Why do men, as exemplified in this article, have so many issues with sex? Why is sex about pain and humiliation of the woman? It says a lot about the way men view themselves.

There are disgusting pigs who want it in this article. It's the men in the article, and they obviously feel that way about themselves and their sexuality otherwise sex wouldn't be about humiliation, pain, domination, and degradation.

What I can't seem to get straight from men is whether or not women are supposed to want Anal. I hear now that women are supposed to want it, and don't want it because they "Don't know enough about their bodies". How about we don't want it because we hear men saying it is about domination, and "Pain or whatever" and "disgusting pigs". So we are -supposed- to not want it, it's supposed to hurt but not hurt. were supposed to take pleasure in it, but take pleasure in it only to the point where we become "disgusting pigs".

Men how about you figure out what you want, get it straight, and then get back to us when you do.

I first tried anal sex back in 1979 with my then lover who also was a virgin as an inserter. We used KY or Albolene makeup remover and it went well. My current lover and I are both in our fifties and his ex-wife refused to let him do this although she promised to let him try it after they were married. Needless to say, he tried it with me and we both enjoyed it. We are fluid bonded and use Sex Grease or Slippery Stuff. You have to relax and enjoy being penetrated and he has to have a real stiff erection ("diamond cutter"). Now he wants me to do him with a strap on after he begged me to use a butt plug on him. He isn't gay or bi and we are both in our fifties. He knows that I would never hurt him physically or mentally and we both enjoy pleasuring each other immensely. To me, rape is making your partner do something he or she absolutely doesn't want to do, whether it's a forced kiss or analingus. I enjoy rimming him also- he's very clean and appreciative. And I look forward to more of indulging this man's particular sexual inclinations. He's a Scorpio and I enjoy his body (and mind) immensely.

I had anal intercourse with my female partner and would never in a million years go around bragging about it..whats the point guys! Idiots! I like anal penetration and don't go bragging about it..seems like if i was found out i like a smooth object in my butt..there..iam labeled "homo" by the boys around the water fountain..idiots! Men are dishonest..they like it too..and you can be straight! Is this a modern day confessional?

I read with sexual interest (although it would have been more interesting if you had interviewed men with sexual maturity vs "frat boy mentality") your article on Friday 8/10/07. I had a date with my lover last night. We have engaged in anal play in the past in the form of rimming, finger probing and him anally penetrating me. Yes, this can be done safely with the right prep before and afterwards...the biggest immediate risk is UTI so be vigilent at the first signs. Last night while I was sucking him off I simultaneously massaged his prostate. He came in my mouth a "moderate" amount but I continued to suck and massage him inside...20 seconds later he came again...an intense, hot gush. We believe he experienced his first "multiple orgasm". He said that future orgasms would be "the son of...(this orgasm)." While I could "high five" my girlfriends to "bring down the house" I prefer to fantasize about the next time I am able to pleasure him in this way just as he always makes sure I am beyond pleasured too.

Ok guys, listen up: If you fantasize about getting into your girl's cute butt, and she isn't exactly hot for it, sound her out for her sexual flexibility and listen carefully as you touch her there during foreplay. Many women will admit to liking the sensation of outer touch there, if done right. Work with that using a bit of lube, working gently around her opening, on the muscle, and pressing gently to feel it yield, keeping in touch with her reactions and always heed her 'yes it feels good' or 'no, it doesn't do anything for me.' Push it too far, and you will destroy her trust. EARN HER TRUST!

Sometimes, it;s the fear or taboo that gets in the way. Work with that over time. Promise to be gentle if she alows you to penetrate her anally with a well-lubed fingertip. Take your time and you may get to stage two... your hot cock. Also, if she loves to get head (and what girl doesn't!), give her the best orgasm you can with head and then lower your position to include her 'taint' and test the waters by advancing to her anal area. If she has been a good girl and washed before your sex time, she will be less concerned and hung up about herself and possibly more open to sensual anal play. patience is usually well rewarded. If you can get to that stage, and she likes and trusts you, you can go further. Be smart, prepare the scene with her favorite lube, towel, even mouthwash if you rim her. If both of you are fresh and normally clean, anal play is fairly "event free" and one hell of a way to go from ordinary good sex to fucking amazing sex, filled with secret memories and improved intimacy. Remember, only a percentage of women are total ass-whores like the porn actresses you fantasize about, but many women would love to try anal from just the right guy who knows how to make it fun and safe.

At 51 years old, my personal experience was that about 50% of the women I've slept with liked to have their assholes massaged or fingered during foreplay once we had conventional sex, but after more intimate dates, nearly all aggreed to try anal sex and a few became quite addicted to it wih me.

NEW RULE: If she lets you in the back door, keep it between you both. Few good women want YOUR friends to know that she likes it. If you feel the need to boast about it to improve your stature with your idiot buddies, you're a selfish immature little shit. if you really want to earn your stripes, let anal play be one of the things that enhances the seep trust you both share, and make it as erotic as possible. If she began as "I've never been comfortable with anything back there" ... and now leans over to you in public and whispers "Honey, will you play with my asshole tonight?", you'll know you have a hot one on the line. Enjoy!

This article sounds like it was written by a boy in highschool. Grow the hell up.

I personally fel that if a man asks for anal sex from his girl, then he himself should be willing to take it first. I enjoy having anal sex with women-but if the deal I have to get it in the butt first, then I will, because I would never ask a woman to do something for me sexually that I would not do for her-its like a man asking his girl to make love with another woman-he should be prepared to make love with another man for her pleasure first-its only sexual intercourse-be as willing to take as you are to recieve in a sexual relationship with a woman its only fair to her.

I HAD ANAL SEX FOR THE FIRST TIME. I GUY I BEEN DOING A THREE SUM WITH HIM ND HIS BROTHER BROUGHT SOMEONE ELSE ALONG WHEN HIS BROTHER COUULDNT COME WE WERE FUCKIN ND ALL THEN HE SAID TO TURN AROUND I DID AND HE PUT HIS DICK IN ND IT HURT REALLY REALLY BAD AND IT WAS HURTING REALLY REALLY BAD. AFTER AWILE IT WAS OK BUT THEN WHEN HE PULLED OUT ND HE PUT IT BACK IN IT HURT REALLY BAD. HE CAME BACK ANOTHER DAY ON HIS OWN AND HE DID IT AGAIN AND IT HURT REALLY BAD BUT THEN IT FELT SOOOOOO GOOD I WOULD TELL ANYONE TO DO IT BUT FIRST YOU SHOULD FUCK THE GIRL IN HER VAGINA FIRST AND FUCK HER FOR AWHILE THEN PUT IT IN HER ASS IT WAS REALLY GOOD AFTER THAT BUT I THINK HE TORE IT SOME B/C IT HURTS BAD RIGHT NOW. ANY SUGGESTIONS ON WHAT TO DO?

I have to agree with some of the women about this story. At what age to the assholes they interviewed in this story grow up? Yea, when you're 16 years old bragging to your friends about your sexual experiences is expected, because you're young and dumb. When you're 29 and bragging about your sexual conquest, well you're an immature dumbass. I personally think anal sex is great, and if a woman is willing to give herself to me in that way, I'm going to be respectful of her and not hurry, so I can run out and tell all my boys.

Hi All, As a young,hot single, female, living in the city. I cannot tell you the number of times i have been asked if i would have anal sex with a guy (usually this is asked on the first date, and they want the anal sex that night). I have always declined the request, purely on the basis, that when i decided to go all out and embrace the anal loving pig whore that i am, i want to do it with someone i am comfortable with, in a safe and secure enviroment. The current portrayal of women by the media, is sending us backwards. It doesnt matter if you do/don't like anal, if you give or receive. What matters is how you view the act. The article promotes that the sexual acts performed were nothing special. When in actual fact all sexual act should be regarded as special. If sexual acts like anal are nothing special, than the people performing them are nothing special either. No person wants to or need to feel like this.

As an Australian reader of this debate, I'm first struck by the "American-ness" of some of the arguments being made. Sweeping statements about rapists, references to things being "biblically" wrong (good god!)and various other comments whose authors sound just plain angry. As for the topic at hand, I've had girlfriends who love anal sex, others who hate even the thought of it, and others in the middle who adore some back door attention but don't enjoy anal intercourse. In my experience it seems that the girls who love it are the ones who are relaxed about the reality that occasionally it is slightly "messy". They simply put a towel down first then lie back and relish what is for them a hugely pleasurable act. So, my view from downunder is simply this: If you both like it then do it. If you're saying "please" and she's saying "no" consistently, then either get over it, or accept that you're not sexually compatible and move on because based on your own published statistics around 1 out of 3 girls are going to say: "yes please!"

I been with my wife for 15 years and we never had anal sex. Then she suggested we try it. Holy sh*t we both really enjoy. My wife really gets into it and asks me to do it more. It really has improved our sex life tremendously.

Sounds like there's alot of men that need to come out of the closet.

I'm a grown woman not a child and I DON NOT FAKE SATISFACTION FOR NO ONE!! YES anal can hurt if done incorrectly that goes with anything!! My first time vaginally hurt and I STILL orgasmed! Does that make me a sadist...Ah NO!!! It means just like some here stated you need to find the position that is right for you! Anal is NOT dirty cause honey last time I checked we got something coming down the "other" hole that can be just if not more unpleasant! As per the TRUE ASSHOLES in th article you guys do sound like sick rapist! forcing anything on any one is WRONG! And yes I find the picture a bit on the insulting side...But Anal is great and I orgasm off of it granted not with as much flair as a vaginal oh and no where near multiples but it feels good! and women don't feel afraid to try it with a partner that is willing to take it mega slow..you might very well be surprised:)