Backlash: FLILF
Nothing is wrong with this picture. Forget the issues—what this country needs is a hot first lady.
Join our campaign—or start a backlash to the backlash—by posting your comments
Image: Associated Press
A crisis gnaws at the American soul—a trauma that's rarely spoken of, and that has nothing to do with any botched war or national epidemic of foreclosures.
The problem at hand—one that's been brought into stark relief by the media maelstrom surrounding the 2008 presidential candidates—is that it's been way too long since you wanted to screw the first lady.
And, for once, there are several candidates' wives we'd like to get behind. Jeri Thompson is stacked. Michelle Obama is smokin'. Elizabeth Kucinich is a stone fox. If we manage to get one of them in the White House, it won't just be good for America—for our enterprise and our standing in the world—it will be good for our libidos.
Sure, there are probably pockets of men who find Laura Bush strangely alluring—in a goody-two-shoes, chicken-potpie sort of way. But the woman in the White House ought to make the body politic swell with pride, and a brief glance at presidential history makes it clear we've been afflicted with the electoral equivalent of erectile dysfunction for decades. All you need is a list of the names (with the sole exception of Jackie) to remind you how relentlessly the American libido has been squelched: Hillary. Rosalynn. Nancy. Barbara. Betty. Pat. Lady Bird. Mamie. Bess. Eleanor.
It's time for a change. Forget MILF—what America needs is a FLILF.
Lately we've heard a lot about the wives of the presidential candidates and what they tell us about the men they're married to. Frankly, who gives a shit? The important point is: Just how cool would it be to see Jeri Thompson lean over the president's desk in the Oval Office?
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Are you kidding? First time this country has had a serious female contender for U.S. Prez and you guys publish this b.s. What a transparent expression of male insecurity over his quickly fading privilege! Tsk-tsk.
christydesmith
Nov 5, 2007 10:13:38 PM
Bravo. What a seering display of intellectual and comedic chops. Don't satirize the issues *because that would be, you know, hard*. Don't satirize the candidates *again, so difficult*. Don't come up with anything clever, or original, or witty. Just expand on the wildly generic and stereotypical MILF trend and apply it to politics. Kudos on your hard, creative, mentally exhausting work, and for keeping alive the inaccurate image that men can think only with their libidos, and a woman's value can only be determined by how many men desire her - and all for the sake of easy comedy. You should be so proud.
amandakstein
Nov 14, 2007 12:05:48 PM
Gross and creepy. Get over yourself. The first Lady isn't a product for men to ogle.
nbrice
Nov 14, 2007 12:40:16 PM
Excellent article!
I published an article along the same lines at the end of October. Nothing wrong with marrying a hot chick - especially if it helps your political career.
Hooters' chicks = future First Wives.
:o)
Paotie
Paotie
Nov 20, 2007 4:40:30 PM
Too bad that if Hillary is elected, it won't make her a PILF! Natalie Gulbis for President (currently a GILF)!
tthueson
Nov 20, 2007 10:49:28 PM
Funny. Some ladies have a lot of time on their hands to post long winded comments. Have a sense of humor.
cperez11
Nov 21, 2007 3:34:50 PM
I vote for Jeri Thompson for becoming First Lady. She really rocks. And politically, (President) Thompson appears to be more of a social conservative, and a Reagan lookalike.
chipnclip
Nov 22, 2007 6:38:55 PM
Only the nitwit women on your staff -- and apparently Fred Thompson -- would think his trampy tub-o-lard wife is "hot". Those tits look like big droopy bags of wet sand. Ugh. Details is obviously read more by women than its presumed "Y" chromosome audience, as evidenced by those commenting on this blog.
amabala
Dec 7, 2007 5:05:54 PM
The first money shot (Monica) in the oval office was less than respectable. If some dude (besides Fred) were to titty-bang this broad and blow a hot load in this bitch's face in the oval office, well that would just be sort of cool.
NeilFromSTL
Jan 4, 2008 10:22:04 PM