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It's Time to Start Dressing Your Age

If your thirtieth birthday is in your rearview, lose the rebellious-teen uniform.

-By Katherine Wheelock

Still clinging to that earring and biker jacket? Tell us your thoughts on dressing younger than your years right here.

Dressage

Image credit: infgoff.com

Call up a mental picture, for a moment, of Dina Lohan. In your mind's eye, the 45-year-old stage mom is probably wearing a low-cut top and a denim miniskirt. Maybe a pair of UGGs. In other words, an outfit a lot like one her 21-year-old daughter would wear. If you're reading this story and you're a 35-plus-year-old wearing a faux-vintage Urban Outfitters T-shirt and plaid Vans, you and Dina Lohan have a lot in common. Only, not having a honey-colored spray-on tan and highlights, you don't look as good.

In addition to the midriff-baring mom, you're inadvertently aligning yourself with another type you probably scorn: the Midlife Crisis Man. Being 38 and wearing a retro Sea World tee under a hoodie to Sunday brunch is essentially the same as being 48 and wearing a leather bomber and dog tags. You and Midlife Crisis Man—see Anthony Bourdain (dressing like a punk might be his thing, but the man is over 50) and Harrison Ford (the dad jeans don't cancel out the fear-of-mortality earring)—each might as well be wearing a big ol' baseball hat that says I'M AFRAID OF GETTING OLD.

"I don't get it," says Tim Gunn, Project Runway mentor and chief creative officer at Liz Claiborne. "I think men look older when they try to dress young. You stop and look at them, because there's something incongruous about it. And then you realize—wait, this person is way too old to be wearing those clothes."

"So many people have a distorted view of themselves," Gunn, who's 54, adds. "I remember once a few years ago seeing my reflection in a department-store mirror, and for a moment I thought, What's my father doing here?"

What motivates some men to cling to the vestments of their youth like a 4-year-old to the last pair of SpongeBob SquarePants pajamas in Toys "R" Us no doubt varies. But it can usually be categorized in one of two ways: deliberate (you don't get your ear pierced at 52 by accident) or unconscious (If I don't remember that 35th birthday, then it didn't really happen, right?). And it manifests itself in ways both subtle and heartbreakingly obvious.

"I've found recently that older guys are wearing clothes that are far, far too small for them," says British men's designer Oliver Spencer. "There's nothing worse than an [old] guy who's very fashion-conscious but not in shape wearing small shirts."

"A 45- or 50-year-old guy shouldn't be wearing ripped jeans or leather jackets," Spencer continues. "They shouldn't even be wearing jeans that are all washed out—those are for kids."

But what exactly is the turning point? How do you know when it's time to shed the uniform of your twenties for good?

"The hip quotient is a very defining one for many men," Gunn says. "But you have to reassess [your wardrobe] at regular intervals. It's different for every man—it depends on your body changing, your lifestyle changing, your work changing. I think I did an assessment at about 40."

Patti Stanger, founder of the Millionaire's Club dating service and host of the Bravo reality show Millionaire Matchmaker, points to a reasonable middle ground between dressing like an understudy for Keith Richards and shuffling around in hiked-up polyester pants.

"You have to give up the leather bombers and the Members Only jackets, yes," she says. "But it's not like you have to put on a grandpa Missoni sweater. My boyfriend's 50. On the weekends he wears Vans—adult Vans, the ones that look like boat shoes, not kids' Vans. I wanted to buy him a hoodie recently and he said, 'No, that's too immature.'"

But conquering arrested sartorial development—and then resisting the urge to regress—takes discipline.

Jean Touitou, the French designer and founder of A.P.C., is well over 50. He treats the abundance of graphic T-shirts and hoodies available to him like an aging socialite treats the dessert cart.

"Skinny jeans. I can't do it," he says. "Down jackets. I'm too old to wear them. It's not very sexy. If I were a woman or I were gay, I couldn't take the aging-rocker look. It seems it's a trend because we do not accept death, apparently."

So get a Ferrari. Get a 22-year-old girlfriend. But dress like a grown-up. To do otherwise is to undermine your dignity.

"I'm proud of my age," Gunn says. "I dress for the body I have and the work that I do and how I want the world to perceive me. I want to look like someone people trust and believe—not dress like somebody I'm not."

His point is a solid one. Self-delusion isn't flattering to anyone. Ask Dina.

Comments

Anthony Bourdain dressed like Tim Gunn? What a boring well dressed world, huh?

I loved this article... I see too many men trying to hold on to their youth with fashion trends that are too young for them. I think it's a lot cooler when men know how to dress stylish (re: classic)without trying every new trend that comes down the runway. Tim Gunn is my GURU!

Being 39 and finding myself doing some of the most profound re-assments of my life, I found this article to be just what the docter ordered. Also I fully agree with the washed out jeans look.... Kids only.

What a hypocrisy and a lovely one. Shame on you! This magazine that I enjoy pretty much only feature models size minus zero wearing clothes for people their age. The only person my age group I saw in the pages was Patrick Dempsey. How can you write about dressing like teen when that's the only thing that the media does? Tim Gunnn example? Oh please he is just another stuck up.

what about the opposite problem - guys who turn 30, enter the corporate world, and don't give fashion another thought? Lame - look like old golfers 30 years early. The key is selecting fashions - whatever they are - that fit your body. Everyone over 35 isn't out of shape, so every youthful style shouldn't be discarded carte blanche.

Being a midlife crisis male, I feel a reply is necessary. I act my age and I'm about to turn 50. I work-out 5-6 times a week and engage in age appropriate activities on a regular basis: backpacking, cycling, golf, kayaking & climbing. I take care of myself, but still enjoy a good cocktail.

With my 6 foot, 180lb frame; I am not only in better shape than most other people my age, but most people 10, 20 & sadly 30 years younger than me. I am not the least bit ashamed to wear the current slim cut suits or any other current fashion that I like.

I'll wear jeans and I will still pull out my vintage WWII Flight Jacket or 22 year-old Motorcycle Jacket when the mood strikes. I will wear sneakers; but only to the gym. There is a time and place for everything, knowing when and having the right attitude is all that counts.

Oh, Vans & a hoodie; what are you in 7th grade?

At week before my 27th birthday, it recently dawned on me that I don't like leaving the house in just a t-shirt and jeans. I need at the very least a collared shirt.

And I stopped wearing sneakers as every day footwear years ago. Now they are reserved for physical activities only.

P.S. A good, grown up alternative to the classic hoody is the Rogues Gallery Baffin. Its a shawl collar sweatshirt. Comfy like a hooded sweatshirt, but more respectable looking.

This article about dressing your age, like every other one, is very specific about telling older guys what NOT to wear and incredibly vague about what TO wear.

There is a definite market out here for a fashion/style magazine for men over 40. No one tells us what we CAN wear to look respectable. What is the grown-up look when not wearing a suit? Button down shirts from LL Ben or Brooks Brothers? Too much fabric for us non-heavies. Dress pants and collared shirts from Macy's? Too much ironing and pressing. Think Cary Grant and Steve McQueen? Their time is past. Dress like Tom Selleck's character Richard on the TV show Friends? Perhaps, but without the cardigans. We men over 40 could use some good, concrete advice for clothes available at most malls within normal human budget limits, not patronizing wink-wink language about how lame we are in our jeans and leather jackets or Dockers and polo shirts. Please come up with a long pithy article titled, "What Men Over 40 Should Wear." It can't be that hard.

PS - Don't get me wrong, LL Bean and Brooks Brothers have some nice stuff. But much of it is dated and all of it cut full in a "traditional fit." And no more pleats! Why do we have to wait for decent flat-front slim-fit chinos and modern fit dress shirts to appear? Even Target's Merona brand has some new slimmer clothes, but they are cheaply made and sell for $20. I found some good shirts at Macy's like Alfani Fitted or Claiborne Modern Fit. But other designers want $70+ for one shirt. What else can we wear? I don't always want to put on a sport coat or cashmere sweater, especially with the weather warming up.

i am 35 and i clearly do not fit into a mature men's dressing style.it's quite difficult to precise who came first: the egg or the chicken. by simply not fighting any trend, i am very comfortable in wearing dirty all star and vintage shirts to work. that's who i am. and i am happy to find a place to be myself in this fashion world.
andré gustavo

I agree with the men here who urge Details to do an article on what an older man SHOULD wear. The tone of this piece is long on ridicule and short on concrete advice. Tim Gunn is a great fashion guru but his personal style is very conservative, which suits him. But I don't work in a conservative environment, I am in no way an old fart at age 42, I have a 30 inch waist and an athletic build and youthful appearance. I have no intention of wearing Abercrombie and Fitch, torn jeans or backward ball caps. On the other hand, I'm not going to wear "dad jeans" or give up wearing LEATHER JACKETS!! Since when did a classic piece like a leather jacket get reserved for the under 30 crowd? Never heard of such a thing. No one would tell fashionable 40-somethings like Daniel Craig or Brad Pitt they can never again sport a leather jacket. Bomber jackets and Members Only jackets are old hat anyway. I personally have seen Tim Gunn in a black leather sport jacket on many occasions. How about interpreting some of these "too young" pieces and giving us options instead of wagging fingers?

One of the reasons that there is a generation gap when it comes to clothes is that the fashion industry promotes a very narrow youth oriented view of fashion. Your own magazine is full of models that look and probably are 16, wearing trendy, over the top outfits. There is no reason a man over 30 or over 40 can't incorporate some of the trendy pieces into his wardrobe without being ridiculed. I have a dark wash pair of True Religion jeans which are light on the bling and crazy stitching and I look great in them--because they are well made and cut to flatter the body. Rather than poke fun, you might suggest alternatives for those of us who are of a certain age but don't lead a Brooks Brothers lifestyle. I refuse to believe that as a man matures he is instantly "uncool." The withering judgment of the young is something that needs to be checked--life does not end at 27, nor does personal style, class and fun. Clearly your magazine is for the under 30 crowd with an attitude. It's just too bad that those kids are too young to be able to afford the clothes you feature in your publication. If you were smart you would market some fashion to my age group and actually increase your readership, instead of trying to make men over 30 look like idiots.

I take great exception with your article on “It’s Time to Start Dressing Your Age”. I am 56 years old, yes 56, I am six feet tall with a 30 inch waist and a 44 inch chest, a 6 pack on my way to an 8 pack, yes an 8 pack, a butt you can bounce a quarter off of and I am in the best shape of my life.

Your article is an insult to the new 50 crowd! Your suggestions of well dressed grown-up people such as Daniel Craig, Will Smith, Patrick Dempsey and Pierce Brosnan is a joke! These people dress like my father and he is 92! Yes 92!

Your magazine is so out of touch with the real world it almost laughable. Many men in there 50 do take great care of themselves, work hard at it, and have a right to show off what they have achieved! Your industry raves about women in their 50’s and 60’s and how great they look and you don’t see them walking around in tired, drab, non-descript wardrobes so why decide it’s the way men should dress? This is not the 1950s when a man was just supposed to fade to black once he passes 40. To become invisible and just disappear!

You need to find fashion consultants that are in tune with today’s reality. Gunn’s idea of how to dress is old and as for Patti Stanger, founder of the Millionaire’s Club dating service, well that says it all, if you need a dating service then you do have a problem.

When will your magazine see the light and make the connection. On one hand you push and promote the $4000 watch, the $8000 suit, the $57,000 sailboat and the $200,000 car and on the other hand all you do is show these 18-year-old models that haven’t tasted life at all yet. Think about it, I’m the one that can afford those things!

Your magazine needs to rethink what it is says to its readership and do it soon!


I'll agree that earrings, ripped jeans, dogtags, message or logo ballcaps, graphic T-shirts or hoodies and Members Only jackets shouldn't be worn by the mature adult male, but I'll have to disagree on your wholesale condemnation of the leather "bomber jacket," as you call it.

The "bomber jacket" - usually a waist-length leather jacket with knit cuffs and waistband, a leather collar and flapped patch pockets - has many commercial variations, some good, some bad.  The bad ones are easy to spot, and are indeed tacky.

But a good-looking jacket of this type, and by this I mean either a well-preserved original or an accurately-rendered, quality-constructed commercial copy of the brown leather A-2 flight jacket of World War II fame, is a timeless classic for men's casual wear, provided the weather, the occasion, and the clothing worn with it are appropriate.    

This is a great topic. Here's my story, I'm a 42 year old male.

For my first 40 years, my wardrobe was pretty conisitent, I wore a solid dress shirt (gap, black banana republic or j crew), lucky jeans & black vans slip-ons.

Last year, I finally ignored all my insecurities & I went out & pierced my left ear. A few months later, I decided pierced my right ear. Now, I sport a silver hoop earring in each ear, it's very natual & I think it's totally cool.

For writers, its important to make big statements. They are are rarely complete truths, but they make good copy, engage the apathetic reader and shed a slight light on some subject.
Dressing you age? It's a bit like telling you age online...what can you get away with. So if your 50 and you and making the extremely dubious claim that your 25, that's not reality. There are no set rules. The idea is what can you get away with. If you can dress 10 years younger than you age, do so...but find a good mirror, a good friend and make sure you have not crossed the line into ridiculousness.

I tend to agree with the majority of this article, but I vehemently disagree with the notion that older men should not wear leather jackets. Although there are many different types and styles of leather jackets on the market, and a substantial amount are of poor quality and oversized,as a man gets older, he should invest in a few high-quality leather jackets that will endure and stand the test of time. A well tailored, high-end leather jacket is the quintessential piece in a gentleman’s wardrobe. It invokes class, luxury, and masculinity.

Maybe there are things that we can't wear after 30 but to say that once you turn 30 you have to dress like an old man is insane. I refuse to look like an old man and even if I started wearing all the things that I've seen recommended, I'd not only feel out of place but look out of place. Ever see a guy in a casual office be over dressed? He looks like an idiot. You have to dress for yourself and your life, and we have to stop being sheep. I may not sport a mohawk at 38 but I'm not going to be wearing a cardigan and blazer either. Some times I may look like an idiot but I'd rather look like I chose my look and not like I'm following some herd of people who are 3000 miles away.

Oh and someone tell me when designers started getting their ideas at wal-mart? Dad jeans look like they were bought at the local supercenter on sale.

This article was insulting. I'm 45 and I will take my fashion clues from Brad Pitt not some hack fashion writer who needed to turn in a story to their just as boring and jaded editor.

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