What It Means to Be an American

In Palm Harbor, Florida, a retired air force lieutenant colonel dining at an Italian restaurant called Angellino's refused to pay for his $15.99 Shrimp & Scallops Verdura, claiming insufficient shrimp and scallops. He sent it back after eating all five of the shrimp and all five of the bay scallops. He was arrested and charged with defrauding the restaurant. He went to trial. The jury found him not guilty.

The colonel explained that he lives by a code of honor learned while flying fighter planes. He said he would have been pleased whether he had he won or lost, because he stood up for his beliefs. I have no doubt of his integrity or that he thought he was right. I bet he was a hell of a pilot.

There's only one word for a man like him: Guilty. He should not have eaten the scallops and the shrimp before sending the dish back.

Just as an aside, it wasn't like he was ripped off by Angellino's. He was there with his girlfriend, who ate an entrée of mussels. They had coffee and dessert. The bill came to $46. Here in New York City, when two people go out for an Italian dinner, we usually refer to $46 as the tip.

When he sent the dish back after eating all the scallops and shrimp plus a little of the pasta and a few bites of vegetables, he demanded it be taken off his bill. The restaurant rightfully refused. He and the manager argued. He finally said he would pay for the seafood but not the pasta or vegetables. The restaurant said this would not do. His offer impressed the jury. Not me.

Nobody gets to go to a restaurant, order a dish, and pay for only that portion of it that he likes. If we could do that, I'd never again spend a nickel on mixed vegetables. What was the colonel thinking? He had two options: (1) Eat it. (2) Send it back untouched—or after one exploratory bite. He argued that the dish hadn't been listed with the pasta dishes on the menu, and what was put before him was mostly pasta. Fine. Send it back. Don't eat the shrimp and the scallops. Not even one.

It's clear that he felt as though he was behaving in a manner that would have been endorsed by our founding fathers (I suspect they didn't much care for pasta, either). The colonel even brought in a fancy New York lawyer to argue his case. What failed here was one of those great American principles the pilot fought for—trial by jury.

We always hear how our jury system has performed inappropriately because of an imbalance of whites or blacks, rich or poor, males or females. I'm guessing this particular jury had a different shortcoming. I'll bet everybody on the jury was a restaurant customer and not one was a restaurant owner.