Why I'll Never Live in Northern California

Conversation with the guy taking orders at Taylor's Automatic Refresher, a burger joint in San Francisco's Ferry Building where the meat is automatically cooked medium-well (I guess that's what makes the place "automatic").

ME: "Why not serve them medium-rare?"

HIM: "Do you know what would happen if you served 100 burgers medium-rare?"

ME: "The customers would come back for more?"

HIM: "A hundred returns. People don't want their burgers all bloody."

Oddly, the restaurant serves its Ahi tuna rare. So this can't be a health issue—it has to be about locals believing undercooked fish is good for you and undercooked beef is not. Northern Californians seem to have issues with meat.

Or maybe it was just this guy. He had long sideburns, hair in a bun, goatee, and mustache. He not only sounded like Satan; he looked like Satan.

But I guess I always feel that way about people who don't care whether or not food tastes good.