Yet again, everybody is down on doughnuts.

This time, it's because some dumb kids at a school on Long Island, a suburb of New York City, handed out Dunkin' Donuts laced with a laxative.

One of the victims, 14-year old Shane Hartigan, said his chocolate doughnut with sprinkles "tasted fine." (Shane might not have a future as a food critic.)

The kids who spiked the doughnuts said they were imitating something they had seen on MTV.

No, I'm not advocating the banning of MTV, though I'd rather drink a bottle of stool softener than watch any of the programs on that network.

This isn't the first time doughnuts have been misused in this particular way.

In 2003, a couple of teenagers in Grand Rapids, Michigan, brought laxative-laced donuts to their school, also as a prank.

We could solve this problem, of course, by incarcerating all teenagers as a precautionary measure. There they could perform the one task that's within their intellectual capabilities: breaking rocks.

Better yet, we need a doughnut initiative. Americans should be better informed about one of their most misunderstood foodstuffs.

Doughnuts are deep-fried. Therefore, they must be eaten hot. Even a teenager should be able to understand that.

Remember when we couldn't get enough of Krispy Kreme doughnuts? That's because we could get them hot. And I seem to recall Dunkin' Donuts being made fresh in every store, but perhaps I was misled by the famous "time to make the donuts" advertising campaign of the 1980s, which made it appear that way.

Remember this: An old, cold doughnut is worthless. If you're going to eat them that way, extra-added laxative might be the tastiest ingredient.