If they were good enough for Tony Soprano, I figured they'd be good enough for me.

Turns out I was wrong. I wasn't so pleased with the onion rings at Holsten's, in Bloomfield, New Jersey.

That's where the Soprano family ate their last meal, the pièce de résistance—that's Italian, isn't it?—being onion rings.

I went there for the same reason they did. To disappear quietly. And to eat onion rings.

Couldn't beat the price: $2.50.

The onion rings are beatable. They're a flawlessly round commercial product made with chopped onions mixed into the breading. I believe the term for the factory process that makes such rings possible is "extruded," which sounds like a messy mob hit.

They were crunchy, though. And they had an oddly appealing oniony flavor. So I enjoyed them. But no matter what excuses I make for them, the truth is that they weren't particularly good.

Holsten's is terrific, by the way. But so you won't be disappointed when you visit, you should know that you can't play Journey's "Don't Stop Believin' " on the jukebox. There is no jukebox. Holsten's does have a candy counter, stuffed animals, bucolic farm scenes painted on wood, and superb ice cream.

The only thing menacing about the place was my menu. I got a momentary thrill when I thought it was spattered with blood stains. On second thought, I decided they were hot fudge drippings.

Just about everybody has something to say about the final episode of The Sopranos, which was basically brilliant. I caught one wrong note, when Carmella slid into the booth and said to Tony, "What looks good tonight?" She wouldn't have said that. Holsten's has been serving pretty much the same dishes for almost 70 years. Everything looks the same every night.

The Sopranos had the right idea, having their farewell at Holsten's. I'm glad I did the same. We both picked the perfect place to say goodbye.

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