It's Good to Be the Ramen King

"You're through," I said, the moment he sat down. "You're no longer New York's Ramen King."

"What are you talking about?" replied David Chang. "I never called myself the Ramen King. I never said I was doing authentic food."

I had invited Chang to lunch at Ippudo NY, a new ramen shop operated by Shigemi Kawahara, who does indeed call himself the Ramen King. He has a chain of ramen restaurants in Japan and recently opened his first branch in New York, where he serves his “original recipe tonkotsu soup.” It comes with pork, noodles, cabbage, scallions, bits of gangly purple mushrooms, and, if desired, a dollop of “special secret sauce.”

“If you were the Ramen King, you’d know what’s in the special secret sauce,” I said.

“I’m not the Ramen King, and I have no idea what’s in anybody’s special secret sauce,” Chang said.

I asked him to take note of the chairs. Not hard wooden stools like those at Chang’s Momofuku Noodle Bar. Ippudo has big, soft, white bar chairs. Some of them have arms. His and mine had arms on either side, but none in the middle. To me it felt as though we were two guys sitting side-by-side on a Japanese love seat. 

“Got you beat in the stool department, too,” I said.

Chang has a wonderful attitude. He managed not to look sorry he had shown up.

Chang’s westernized version of ramen (essentially noodles in broth) started his astonishingly successful mini-empire, now up to three restaurants. He knows a lot about ramen. Even though he is Korean-American, he has pretty much the same passion for ramen as do the Japanese. He says of this obsession, “If you take all the crazes that Americans have for hamburgers, pizzas, and barbecue and add them up, it still wouldn’t add up to the fervor that the Japanese have for ramen.”

Japan seems to have infinite styles of ramen, and Ippudo specializes in tonkotsu soup, which is made from pork and pork bones. As Chang put it, admiringly, “The broth in this style can be repulsive if it’s not done right, and Ippudo does it right. It’s basically pure pork and pork fat in an emulsion (a mixture of two liquids that will not blend). It’s very difficult, one of the hardest to make, and the resulting broth has a lot of nuances.”

I had come to Ippudo to review the food, and for that Chang was of little help, since the only food he will criticize is his own. This is him on his own ramen: “We serve crappy Pan-Asian ramen made for round-eyes.” This is him on the food at Ippudo: “I like it all.”

I wasn’t quite that impressed.

The broth is indeed wonderful. My recommendation is to order one of the two basic variations on tonkotsu soup, either the “Shiromaru NY” or the “Akamaru Modern.” They aren’t much different. Take the Shiromaru NY, add some secret sauce, and you've got the Akamaru Modern.

We tried to figure out what was in the secret sauce, which is a dab of red paste than looks fiery but is actually only faintly spicy. It seems to contain oil, garlic, and bits of meaty stuff. Maybe soy, too.

The best way to dine at Ippudo is to order the Akamaru Modern with the secret sauce on the side. Without the sauce, the broth tastes fatty with a distinct pork flavor. When you mix in the sauce, the broth becomes reddish, spicy, and better balanced, but it lacks the distinct pork flavor. Your choice.

The noodles are house-made and excellent. They come to the counter al dente, and somehow avoid turning soggy. Chang said that was because Japanese noodles contain kansui, an alkaline additive that increases elasticity and firmness. He happily went on and on about iso-electric shifts in the wheat.

The rest of the ramen soup-package isn’t special: A few slices of supposedly stewed pork that tasted roasted. Some of the aforementioned veggie bits. I suggest ordering a side dish of pork belly for $3; it’s first-rate eaten alone and even better when dumped into the broth.

Ippudo is a chain, but it will only remind you of one if you order the other menu items. The pickled vegetables looked like 1980s French spa cuisine and are more sugary than vinegary. The deep-fried chicken was overcooked and came with a too-sweet sauce. The plate of assorted fried fish, meat and vegetables, all overly breaded, will not remind you of tempura—particularly not the ham chunk. The Ippudo Roll—a pork, egg and cucumber sushi-style roll—was inedible: gummy rice, dried-out filling. Service, on the other hand, was first-rate and sweet.

I asked Chang if he would be able to produce the tonkotsu style of ramen if given the challenge. He said he was pretty sure he could, but if he made such an attempt at authenticity, a lot of Asians were sure to say, “He’s an asshole, a wannabe.”

He added, “If I were an Asian, that’s what I’d say about me.”

65 Fourth Avenue (near East Tenth Street), New York, NY; 212-388-0088; www.ippudo.com/ny

Pasta La Vista, Baby

ME: "Can I get a half-portion of pasta?"
WAITER: "No."
ME: "Can I order à la carte from the tasting menu?"
WAITER: "No."

You might interpret that to mean Bar Milano knows exactly what it's doing. Or you might say—my reading—that this is one of the most regimented restaurants on earth. Dinner at a military academy mess hall—Back straight, mister!—promises more laughs.

I guess nobody but me seems to mind. Bar Milano, from the owners of the beloved Lupa and 'inoteca, is already one of the most fashionable spots in New York. I ate at 5:45 p.m. on a Saturday. When I asked for a later reservation, the answer was, predictably, "No." At least this denial made sense. Every other time was booked.

Newly opened, wildly popular, and eerily formal, Bar Milano is a Manhattan phenomenon. Culinarily, it's flawed. The food, a reworking of dishes from the northern Italian regions of Emilia-Romagna, Piedmont, and Lombardy, is bizarrely inventive. The most startling and off-putting of the dozen dishes I tried was seared, nearly raw tuna crusted in sweet spices served in combination with undercooked sweetbreads. That's Italian all right, but extremely southern, a preparation out of Dante's Inferno.

The sacrosanct tasting menu appears to offer the best opportunities to eat traditionally. I was finally able to beg one item from it, a soup from Emilia-Romagna called tortellini in brodo. The broth was bland but the meat-filled dumplings properly savory. In general, pastas are the safest choices here, although the ragu on my tagliatella alla bolognese was overcooked and tasteless. Skip the lobster risotto, which offers nothing. The tender, grilled octopus is overwhelmed by char and sweet lemon. A huge pork chop topped with mustard fruits was gorgeous but bland—one of my artistic guests compared it to a fashion model acting in a film.

What's occurring at Bar Milano is typical of what takes place when Italian food is served formally, with all the trimmings. You will find multiple hues of marble plus much burnished wood. All that's missing are, surprisingly, tablecloths. And the restaurant's formality is at odds with its storefront setting—you'll be looking out the window at the M-101 bus chugging up Third Avenue.

The servers, and there are plenty of them, move languidly, as though their tasks have been choreographed. They might make you feel cosseted. Or you might think you're trapped. One of my guests, his back to the room, said, "I keep thinking there's somebody who doesn't approve of me looking over my shoulder." The wine list is good, as well as fairly priced, although you might hate the ritual of "priming" glasses, at least as it's done here. The idea is to slosh a little wine from a newly opened bottle into the wine glasses, thus removing impurities and possibly enhancing the bouquet. It's interesting when it takes place tableside, but when it happens out of sight, as it does here, you might think the dishwashers went on strike.

With its inflexible ambience and precious cooking, Bar Milano offers precisely what we thought New Yorkers didn't want anymore. I suppose some of its popularity is due to the fine reputations of Lupa and 'inoteca. The rest might be attributed to nomenclature—everybody seems to love restaurants that call themselves bars. Bar Milano is everything an Italian bar is not—it's not informal, social, or relaxed, and you sure aren't going to eat well.

323 Third Avenue (at East 24th Street), New York, NY; 212-683-3035

Send in the Blondes

I sent in an advance party, a blonde in a red dress, to reconnoiter. No food writer gets into Le Cirque unnoticed. The Maccioni family has an early-warning detection system superior than anything NORAD has ever deployed.

Her assignment: Report to me on the newly opened Le Cirque Wine Lounge, designed to serve snacks from the well-regarded main kitchen and wine from a glass-and-metal storage tower that dominates the room. (The sommeliers here could moonlight as firemen, so precipitous is their climb up the ladder.) When I finally showed up, she was sitting at the bar, drinking a glass of Prosecco that a kindly gentleman at the next stool had provided. She whined to me that the female bartender had her beat in looks. Some scout.

She did make one notable observation: Almost everyone at the bar seemed to be in the restaurant business. It's easy to get a free drink from people as generous as restaurateurs tend to be.

We moved to the lounge, which is orange-toned and decorated with what appear to be upside-down umbrellas hanging from the ceiling. I'm not crazy about orange, but the blonde said it flattered women of a certain age, and Le Cirque is known to attract plenty of them.

The lounge is spacious and open. The table tops are shiny, practically tortoise-shell. The service is predictably attentive. Many of the chairs are actually backless stools, best suited to patrons with taut abdominal muscles. Wines by the glass are expensive, but Le Cirque always has bargains on its list—try the 2005 Cuvée Alexandre Chardonnay from Casa Lapostolle ($38) or the 2003 Cuvée Arthur Minervois from Château Cabezac ($65).

Basically, the menu is a hodge-podge of snacks. I tried a few, and the best ones were stellar. The blonde had never tasted culatello, or even heard of it, so I lectured her on culatello being the heart of prosciutto and only worth eating if it had been produced by a passionate pig-farmer and hung in his barn to cure. The waiter, overhearing, said, "Yes." He said the Maccionis bring back their culatello from Italy, and it's the centerpiece of a wonderful cold-cut plate.

Country terrine is beefy beyond belief—the blonde said, "It's like biting into the thigh of an animal." The cheesy croque monsieur, in contrast, is delicate. The only dish to skip is the Alsatian-style tarte flambé—nice ingredients but a Celeste-like supermarket crust. There's also a disappointing condiment, mustard fruits with the consistency of gumdrops.

Our waiter appeared with a tray containing about half the desserts in the house. I'd been spotted, of course. This was no hardship, because Le Cirque's pastry department is consistently among the best. I particularly recommend anything vanilla: the classic crème brûlée, the cream-filled tiny donuts, the miniature floating island in a martini glass. The blonde was so enthralled by the floating island, meringue in crème anglaise, that she finally stopped griping about the "model-level bartender."

Le Cirque's lounge is an attempt by the restaurant to appeal to a younger clientele. I sent the blonde off to check out the main dining room, and she reported an average age of late fifties. We put the lounge clientele, including a woman draped in a feathered boa, at early forties. Nobody was a kid, but Le Cirque has always been one of the most grown-up restaurants in New York.

One Beacon Court (151 East 58th Street), New York, NY; 212-644-0202; lecirque.com

Girls! Girls! Girls!

My friend from Brooklyn entered complaining.  "I don't like the décor," he said, even before he hung his coat on a wooden peg and sat down on the uncomfortable metal stool I was saving for him.  "So prefab East Village."

You know a place isn't pretty when people from Brooklyn are sneering at it, and Terroir appears to have incorporated design elements from studio apartments, dorm rooms, and Ikea.  It's retro, the first restaurant in the East Village to pay tribute to the mess the neighborhood used to be.  The floor appears original—damaged, unsightly, and left over from the bike shop that used to occupy the space.

But there are several likeable aspects of Terroir, a creation of Marco Canora and Paul Grieco, the inseparable twosome also behind Hearth and Insieme.  Besides Canora's food and Grieco's wine, there's the clientele.

The tiny place has 24 seats, most of them occupied all the time, and usually by young women.  The first time I stopped in, I was one of five men in attendance.  The second time, one of nine.  The waiter said it's always that way—his theory was that the website DailyCandy, which adores Terroir, is luring them in.

Here's what else I like: The few guys who have discovered this place don't appear particularly suave, leaving plenty of opportunities for the rest of us.  This is, word-for-word, the pickup line being used by one of them on a blonde seated a few inches to my right at the restaurant's communal table, which happens to be the only table:  "You know who my favorite painter is?  Norman Rockwell.  Want to know why?  All that fancy stuff in fancy museums, I don't get it.  You put a police officer next to a kid—now that I understand."

He was so inept I almost choked on my bruschetta, and believe me, the bruschetta here goes down easy.  The best of the six kinds are the celery-laced tonnato (tuna) and the garlicky baccala (dried cod), both overloaded with toppings.

"Terroir" is a French word used in the wine world to express a sense of place.  In the case of this establishment, the owners are going for the triple play—terroir in wine, food, and ambience.  Their hero is the late Bartolo Mascarello, a traditional Italian winemaker whose face you'll notice everywhere, even on the T-shirts of the staff.  (He's the guy who looks like Che Guevara's dad.)

Mascarello's Barolo isn't available by the glass, but try a three-ounce taste of the 2003 Barolo from Fratelli Brovia for a crash-course in terroir—the wine is rough, coarse, dry, earthy, and might remind you of razor blades, but, by golly, it lets you know where it's from.  A Sicilian friend I brought to another meal here said the Brovia Barolo had lippuso—that meant her taste buds stood at attention.

For a more pleasurable but equally terroir-driven wine experience, order the 2006 Montlouis-sur-Loire from Le Rocher des Violettes.  It's a French Chenin Blanc fully of juicy minerality, and no winemakers produce better Chenin Blancs than those of the Loire.

The menu is probably too ambitious for the modest surroundings, with more than 40 items, most of them prepped down the block at Hearth.  In these cramped conditions, those most suitable are the hand-held snacks.  A third fine bruschetta is the salty black cabbage and pork sausage.  The chicken liver version, in theory the most familiar, tastes the least like Italy—it's dark and rich, reminiscent of  the 2nd Avenue Deli.  Two other swell snacking selections are the sweet, fried, beet-and-gorgonzola risotto balls and the veal-and-ricotta meatballs, stellar and delicate, a tour de force of the type.

There's also a non-terroir issue at Terroir, one having to do with a room full of women.  Don't expect the one, tiny, unisex bathroom to be unoccupied much of the time.

413 East 12th Street, New York, NY; www.wineisterroir.com

Flavor of Love

Here's the high concept behind most chef-driven restaurants: Chef piles together ingredients nobody has thought of piling together before. Chef awaits applause.

Too often, when I encounter this sort of creativity, I look around desperately for a way to slip out of the place unnoticed (just so you know, not before paying the check).

I can't say anything different is going on at Elettaria in Manhattan's West Village, except I'm smitten with the food. Maybe it's because I crave the particular seasonings and spices being utilized here, but I'd prefer to think there's genuine inspiration at work.

Our waitress said she wasn't supposed to point this out, for fear of alarming timid customers, but the chef is predisposed toward Indian flavors. To this I respond: Where have you been all my life? I'm generally not a fan of Indian restaurants—the food to me is too heavy, too gooey, too inflexible—but I am insane about the flavors. I love coriander, cumin, cardamom, all the rest. And of course, everybody enjoys Indian breads.

The chef at Elettaria is Akhtar Nawab—so much for keeping the Indian roots of this restaurant secret. "Elettaria" means "green cardamom" in Latin, which I guess is the chef's way of showing he went to college. I have a few petty complaints: The signature tomato ravioli are too clunky; the piled-up presentations tend to blur the flavors; the no-potato gnocchi remind me of Tater Tots; and the desserts, while tasty and artistic, are a bit too dense and formal.

The frying is brilliant, especially the pan-roasted chicken, the pan-fried sweetbreads and, best of all, the crunchy, juicy, deep-fried quail. Still, it's the exoticness of the Indian influences that uplifts this cooking.

Indian food has always had considerable appeal to vegetarians, and to me the most irresistible item on the menu is diced sunchokes in a smoked sunchoke purée. This accompaniment to the chicken is so savory and toothsome you might suspect it was cooked over a campfire in bacon fat.

Elettaria is on West 8th Street, best known for shoe shops and other low-level commercial enterprises. The intriguing dining room incorporates a little of everything: Victorian, primitive, prairie, flea market, and antique shop. I imagine Frank Lloyd Wright's apartment looking like this when he was a college student.

The wine list is well-conceived, with two particular under-$40 bargains: For a white, the delicious 2007 Zolo, made from Argentina's Torrontes grape, which tastes like a cross between Sauvignon Blanc and Riesling. For a red, the medium-bodied 2003 Domaine des Schistes, a blend with impressive acidity and balance.

Elettaria is precisely what I admire, a modern American restaurant with a coherent and confident point of view.

33 West 8th Street, New York, NY; 212.677.3833; elettarianyc.com

Would You Like Jelly with That?

So much to explain: The Merkato is a large marketplace in Addis Ababa, the capital city of Ethiopia. Now along comes Merkato 55, a large restaurant in Manhattan's meatpacking district—to me more alien than Addis Ababa.

Marcus Samuelsson, the most famous Ethiopian ever raised in Sweden, popularized Swedish-style cooking at Aquavit. He's now out to do the same for African-style cooking at Merkato 55—the "55" refers to the address of the restaurant, not the number of questions I had to ask in order to understand the food here.

A friend summed up the unusual culinary challenges when he looked at the menu and said, "How often do you see goat in a pot?"

I was tempted, but the waitress told me something I didn't want to hear: The dish contained peanut butter. Skippy, in fact, which she said is the favorite of West Africa.

I switched to lamb meatballs in a pot. No peanut butter, but lots of other stuff: couscous studded with fruit, red sauce, and a fried egg. Her instructions: Stir it up. Before I did, I tasted each component: superb, particularly the smooth meatballs, rich in lamb flavor. After mushing, a mess.

My advice is to minimize the mixing and mashing. The peanut butter (the otherwise luscious chicken soup has it, too) tastes lovely when spread on benne, which is like a sesame bagel. The fried egg goes beautifully with meali, a sensational cumin-scented corn bread. There's another bread, za'atar, made with a spice mix and smelling strongly of sumac. All three cost $6 and are worth the price.

As you might expect from a restaurant representing an entire continent, there's plenty to like: duck with wonderfully crunchy, sweet skin, superior to Peking duck. Skewers containing venison, onion, pork belly, and apricot—I suggest pairing up the venison with the onion, and the pork belly with the fruit, not munching all four at once. The best dessert is the espresso pudding with espresso-almond crumble.

The cooking at Merkato 55 is refined, and the dishes consistently well-prepared. The knowledgeable waitresses are a blessing. The restaurant is on two floors—we were seated downstairs, in the less-attractive adjunct to the bar. The décor is mostly brown and black, sort of Serengeti Chic, and the dark, grainy tables downstairs have inlays that our waitress said represented African food poems.

Ours, she said, read, "When God cooks, there is no smoke."

Here's my version: "When God cooks, there is no peanut butter."

55 Gansevoort Street, New York, NY; 212-255-8555; merkato55.com

Bellying Up to the Brioche

The era of swaggering, multi-story dining emporiums seems to be fading away in Manhattan. Understatement has returned, most notably with full-service restaurants that call themselves bars.

It's a linguistic throwback to the days when every restaurant wanted to be thought of as a bistro, luring in lonely Manhattanites desperate for homey comfort. Now, it seems, New York residents want to belly up to bars for gourmet grub and fancified mixed drinks. For the past couple of years, restaurants (rather obnoxiously) have been transforming their bars into eating adjuncts—try getting a pre-dinner glass of wine at Babbo or Gramercy Tavern. The sound you hear at those bars isn't the buzz of conversation; it's the clang of cash registers.

The new restaurants that refer to themselves as bars often have well-regarded chefs on the premises, and, of course, mixologists on duty, although I've heard that these guys now want to be known as "bar chefs." The man in the kitchen at Bar Blanc, maybe the fanciest and best of the new spots, is Cesar Ramirez, and the full-time pastry chef is Daniel Keehner, whose talents are not wasted. The three people who started the restaurant, Ramirez among them, are generally referred to as "a trio of Bouley alums"—products of David Bouley, Inc.

Let's start by stating the obvious: Places with pedigrees like this don't come cheap. Dinner for two with tip, tax, and a decent bottle of wine can easily exceed $100 per person. That's what happens when bar patrons no longer settle for pickled eggs. What you get for your money is a white bar, white banquettes, bricks painted white, waiters in white tuxedo shirts, and silver lamps.

Naturally, the customers tend to wear black.

The food is colorful and complex, perhaps more complicated than it need be. Predictably, it's tasty and prepared with enormous finesse. Sometimes it's small—my amuse-bouche was a single cheesy brioche bun the size of my thumbnail (and I have small hands).

The only dish that missed the mark was a lamb lasagna so refined it forgot it was food. It's circular and prepared with four sheets of thin pasta, the top one with a sheen resembling fondant icing. Between the layers is a substance more like lamb goo than lamb ragu. Silly it might be, but it tasted fine—although I kept imagining a lamb leg crammed into a blender.

A "market special" of organic squab was a fabulous bird: meaty, salty, and satisfying. Desserts could not have been better, the presentation pure restaurant and the flavors satisfyingly simple. Don't miss the lemon soufflé with huckleberries.

Wasn't it Sigmund Freud who reminded us that sometimes a cigar is just a cigar? Well, in Manhattan, a bar is no longer just a bar.

142 West 10th Street, New York, NY; 212-255-2330; www.barblanc.com

All Glitz, Some Glory

South Gate has top names: food by Kerry Heffernan, design by Tony Chi. What it lacks is an identity.

The restaurant is on the ground floor of the Jumeirah Essex House and comes courtesy of the folks who developed Dubai. (They sure know how to build a city, but their culinary credentials aren't the greatest.)

The restaurant is all glitter, glass, and shiny surfaces, with wine racks replacing walls and a no-tablecloth, we're-not-fussy declaration. The T-shaped bar is particularly enticing, gorgeously integrated into the room. The hotel and the restaurant have separate entrances, which lessens the startling dissimilarity between the marble, brocade, and gilt formality of the hotel and the ultra-contemporary, Vegas-with-values look of the restaurant.

Who actually walks in is fascinating. On my first visit, almost all the customers, some of them kids, were dressed casually and dining informally, as though this were a hotel coffee shop. On the next visit, almost everyone was decked out meticulously and dining with an enormous sense of culinary purpose. I suppose a restaurant can't be responsible for who the cab drags in.

Heffernan is one of my favorite chefs, but I've always thought of him as a wood-paneling, plush-carpeting kind of guy: He's somewhat formal, very structured. Here his cooking is predictably excellent, but many of the combinations are exceedingly quirky—butter-poached lobster accompanied by a Korean trencherman's chunk of kimcheed cabbage, sauteed foie gras with a small side salad sitting in the sauce, spicy seared calamari with a cauliflower-custard flan. I loved his soups, especially a creamy celery root version presented as an amuse-bouche. (You'll beg for a bowl.)

The wine list is first-rate and the wine service knowing. Desserts are very formal and painfully correct. Waiters are everywhere. You'll have no chance of making it to the bathroom without someone leading the way, and you won't finish a course without a waiter interrupting to ask if everything is okay. The answer: Not yet.

154 Central Park South; 212-484-5120; www.154southgate.com

Kitchen Inconsequential

Brasserie Les Halles, like its Chef-at-Large, Anthony Bourdain, has a certain ill-mannered charm. The restaurant reminds me of the grubby spots I used to visit in Paris, the ones that titillated me because they appeared to be in violation of health codes.

Bourdain, yet another chef who hates the drudgery of preparing food, recently went back to the restaurant to play line cook. You might have seen him last night on No Reservations, the Travel Channel show where he slouches, smirks, drinks, smokes, swears, pontificates, and eats bugs (possibly the attributes of a modern Renaissance man). Although he claimed on the program that "the cooking life has been a long love affair," he also pointed out that it had been eight years since he had worked in a kitchen.

When I phoned the restaurant to ask his role there, I was told he acts as a "consultant," although it's hard to know what a place that specializes in the hoariest of French dishes would need from an American who wasn't much of a chef back in the days when he worked at being one. I visited Les Halles on Park Avenue this past weekend and found the butter and the fries quite good. Perhaps churning and frying are Bourdain's culinary specialties these days.

I had planned to go twice, but once was enough. I entered and was led to a miniscule table covered in white paper. It was in front of a banquette that appeared to have been slashed, probably by an understandably dissatisfied customer. The lighting is so dim and the furnishings so battered that it was difficult to accurately assess the damage.

Next to the table was a marginally better one, and my guest and I asked to be seated there. The surly hostess, who had heretofore said nothing, snarled "no," and when I pressed for an explanation, she said it had been reserved. I was suspicious, since it's hard to imagine anyone going to the trouble to reserve a specific table at a restaurant where none are desirable. It was a falsehood easily exposed. When we asked the people finally seated there if they had indeed reserved it, they told us that they had just wandered in, having no idea where they might be placed.

We ordered wine and our waiter, much friendlier than the hostess, brought the incorrect vintage. We substituted another, which arrived warm to the touch, and he promised us an ice bucket that never materialized. We gamely pressed on, ordering three appetizers, two main courses, and three desserts.

The first, a flavorless and fatty house terrine, tasted like truck-stop cuisine, but in retrospect we regretted discarding it, because it was markedly superior to a crab cake that was mostly breading and spongy escargots acrid from undercooked garlic. Steak au poivre, although properly cooked, was another variation on the theme of acridity.

The duck confit looked reasonably attractive. The waiter assured us it was made on the premises, but he was the same fellow who had misled us about the wine bucket (not to be confused with the hostess who had lied about the table). Regardless, the duck leg wasn't any tastier than those that come from a can. The so-called "truffled potatoes" accompanying it were greasy diced spuds.

Desserts were an improvement, which I attribute to Bourdain not being the Pastry Chef-at-Large. Profiteroles came with good ice cream and even better chocolate sauce, but the choux pastry was inedible—cold, soggy, and undercooked. The crème brûlée would have been fine had it been freshly made, while the crêpes suzette, prepared tableside, were at least done earnestly. The gentleman pressed into service had good intentions, but no idea how to make this classic French dessert. He worked hard, used too much of everything, and presented us with mushy crêpes drowned miserably in an alcoholic, orange-flavored bath.

Last night's episode of No Reservations might inadvertently have provided an explanation of why the food at Les Halles is so dreadful. The number of tables has almost doubled since Bourdain worked there, and the kitchen is feeding more than 600 people a day.

What's more appalling than the food or even the absurd title of Chef-at-Large is that the smirking Bourdain has somehow become the de facto public face of the restaurant industry. It's as if Steven Seagal had been named president of the Screen Actors Guild.

411 Park Avenue South; 212-679-4111; www.leshalles.net

Where the Fat Lady Eats

The barrel above the front door suggests a weinstube, one of those inexpensive Mitteleuropean wine bars featuring rustic dishes prepared by the proprietor's frauchen. The interior follows suit—it's barrel-shaped and jammed with inexpensive, rickety blonde tables.

Bar Boulud does have a decidedly homey appeal, that's for sure, although the food happens to be pure French and the wine prices soar into quadruple figures. Economical it is not. It's located on pricey real estate across from Lincoln Center, and the cuisine comes from chef-turned-entrepreneur Daniel Boulud, most famous as the owner of the aristocratic restaurant Daniel.

Boulud is following the lead of chefs who can't say no to a restaurant project, but at least he's staying with what he does better than anybody else in America: upscale French comfort food. It's clear from the menu and the food on display that he's satisfying his love of pâtés and terrines—basically meatloaf done up with cream, brandy, truffles, foie gras, and anything else that costs a lot. For hamburger-loving New Yorkers, this is another way to indulge a passion for ground meat.

There are eight such items on the menu, and the best to me was the tourte de canard, which is duck, foie gras, and figs enclosed in a thin pastry shell. (The pastry is leaden, as is to be expected. Such wrappings are more about French tradition than French cuisine.)

The worst that can be said about the rest of the food is that the recipes are relentlessly conventional—lamb stew, roasted chicken, boudin blanc. The best is that such a style of cooking is terribly missed. (If you haven't been missing boudin blanc, you'll start longing for it after you taste Boulud's exceptionally creamy version.) My only complaint is that many Bar Boulud dishes are underseasoned, which often can be said about French food. They're also undersalted, which almost never can be said about French food.

One warning: If you happen to admire fresh greenery, this is not your place. The kitchen loves to marinate plant life. The decorator made a feeble gesture toward satisfying a need for vegetation by placing a bizarre, bush-like object resembling a Chia Pet at the bottom of the stairs leading to the washrooms.

The wine list is exceptional, although all those bottles costing thousands makes me think Boulud is hoping that tuxedo-bedecked swells will stop in après-opera. I can't think of any compelling reason to drink Château Pétrus in this ambience, although the wobbly tables provide so much incidental movement that you won't have bother swirling your wine.

1900 Broadway (between West 63rd and West 64th Streets), New York, NY; 212-595-0303

That's Not Mama Mia at Mia Dona

Donatella Arpaia is very front-of-the-house. Also, should you peek at her website, very front-of-the-blouse. She's a combination hostess and hottie, ideally suited to modern American dining. Right now you can find her at Mia Dona, the third restaurant in Manhattan named at least in part after her. (davidburke & donatella lives on; Dona has closed.)

Front-of-the-house doesn't mean standing by the door, greeting guests, at least not when I show up. All the space up front is consumed by a couple of temporary coat racks, the kind we're used to seeing in the hallways of apartment buildings during Christmas party season. Didn't the designer of Mia Dona know that people in Manhattan wear overcoats? Just past the racks is a string of small dining rooms that offers a mixed message—pale library paneling meets zebra-skin carpeting.

Donatella Arpaia is back there somewhere, looking uncharacteristically demure in sleeveless turtleneck, jeans, and tiny spiked-heel boots. Her partner, the man in the kitchen, is Michael Psilakis, best-known for his cooking at Anthos, where he transformed boring old Greek food into fashionable Aegean cuisine—sounds a lot better, doesn't it? Quite a pair, and Mia Dona is quite a startling restaurant. Psilakis's interpretation of Italian makes Mario Batali's food seem tame.

He's the fireworks in this place, not her. His famous gnudi—ricotta cheese balls—come with truffle-butter sauce, lacy pan-fried speck, mushrooms, sage. It should be too much, but in his hands the assemblage is so skillful you won't mind. The agnolotti with dried grapes, however, are so sweet they might be mistaken in a blind tasting for Jewish noodle pudding.

If it's simplicity you seek, you've come to the wrong place. (The branzino, superbly cooked, could use two fewer accompaniments.) A couple exceptions to the overwrought creations are the crispy fried rabbit with fingerling potato chips and the baked paccheri—collapsed pasta tubes with a touch of tomato and basil, plus smoked mozzarella and a pile of fresh ricotta. A large order, priced at $15, easily feeds three.

Prices are beyond reasonable, topping out with a mixed grill for $24. Even when you're puzzled by the excess complexity, you'll admire the deft cooking, intriguing ingredients, and exceptional value. The slim cannoli, made with a crunchy, candy-like shell instead of typically soggy pastry—I sometimes wonder if Italians should be banned from baking—go for $6.

These are the early days for Mia Dona. Things will be better when Psilakis calms down and Arpaia dolls up.

206 East 58th Street, New York, NY; 212-750-8170

More Polished Than Polish

The 2nd Avenue Deli re-opened recently, a lot smaller than it used to be, and not on 2nd Avenue, where it used to be. It’s the most famous kosher delicatessen in America, even if it serves food on Saturdays, which I always thought wasn’t kosher. When I invited my kosher cousins to eat with me, they declined. By them, it wasn’t kosher.

Where Jews are concerned, and I’m one of them, nothing is easy.

Delicatessens, kosher or not, are confusing to Jews and non-Jews alike. First of all, the name "delicatessen" has been corrupted. Most places that call themselves “delis” aren’t delicatessens. They’re food shops selling all kind of ready-to-eat products, most of them appalling.

Real delicatessens, and 2nd Avenue Deli is one of them, sell homemade meat products with an Eastern European accent. The new 2nd Avenue Deli (it’s on East 33rd Street in Manhattan) fulfills that mandate exquisitely, and, unlike the old place, has added smoked fish. Traditionally, delicatessens never sold fish, but this is a modern delicatessen where the meats sleep with the fishes.

Although fish is non-essential to the delicatessen business, I thought I’d give it a try. I had the smoked salmon. It was okay, but not so good I’d recommend this as your go-to bagels-and-lox destination. The cream cheese is fake, which is necessary, since a kosher restaurant that sells meat can’t also sell dairy products. For phony cream cheese, it was good.

Most people think a kosher delicatessen sells big, fat sandwiches, the kind thick enough to please truck drivers or forest rangers (which kosher Jews never are). Still, two-inch sandwiches are pretty much the norm, and the 2nd Avenue Deli has plenty of them.

Everybody knows what makes a good sandwich: Fatty, flavorful meat—unless you’re dumb enough to order the roast turkey, in which case you get lean, boring meat. Which turkey boys deserve.

Pastrami is the standard by which a delicatessen is judged. At the old 2nd Avenue Deli (which, by the way, was actually on 2nd Avenue), the pastrami was lousy. I was probably the only person in New York who felt this way, but I was right. It was dry and tasteless. Everybody said it was great, because that was how you were supposed to feel. People have always had so much affection for this restaurant that even when the food was bad, they wouldn’t say a word.

The pastrami at the new place is terrific: fattier, spicier, more tender and more beautiful than before. It isn’t the best I’ve ever had, but it’s close. In case you like tongue (and who doesn’t?), the tongue might be the best I’ve ever had. In rounding out the sandwich experience, let me add this: The rye bread isn’t good. You can barely taste the rye flour—pretty much a universal problem today. Everybody wants delicatessen sandwiches on rye bread as long as it bread doesn’t actually taste like rye. The mustard is superb. The sour pickles are very good, the half-sours less so. Skip the corned beef and the brisket sandwiches: boring.

There’s one other category of cuisine served here: Old-world, Eastern European, Jewish standards. Nothing could be harder than evaluating dishes like potted meat balls and boiled beef in the pot. Here’s why: No Jew can agree on how they should taste.

Most ethnic cuisines come from a place, and everybody knows what it tasted like back in that place. The Jews never had a place. Mostly, they were chased from places.

If you eat in a dozen different Jewish homes, the food will taste different in every one. Every Jewish family is a distinct culinary place.

At the new 2nd Avenue Deli, the stuffed cabbage (ground beef and rice wrapped in cabbage leaves) is beautifully made. Nice ingredients, fine technique. It’s also so sweet I couldn’t eat it. I doubt this was an accident. Somebody in charge of the kitchen is preparing it the way his mother used to make it.

I can’t tell you if you’ll like it. You will for sure if you come from a family where the stuffed cabbage could have passed for dessert.

I will give you a different tip: There are lines there, particularly for an early lunch or an early dinner. (Jews, you should know, do not eat late.)

Try to talk your way into standing inside, where there’s a second line at the take-out counter. The people waiting outside in the cold get nothing. The people waiting inside get little snacks of chopped liver on bread.

I promise that you’re going to like the ultra-smooth chopped liver, even if your mother made it some other way.


Got a beef with Alan Richman?
In need of food-and-wine advice? E-mail him at AlanRichman@GQ.com. He’ll respond each week right here on ‘Forked’


Made (Better) in Japan

When it comes to eating in Tokyo, you might think only of impossibly fresh sushi, bowls of ramen, and melt-in-your-mouth Wagyu steaks. But over the past few years, Japanese chefs have branched out, mastering Italian cuisine and creating French food that would fascinate a Frenchman. Most amazingly, they're reinventing Chinese. Alan Richman gets lost in the pleasures of Tokyo, a place where nothing is good enough unless it is perfect.

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Susumu Kakinuma and I bonded instantly. We had this in common: He loves belted 7.62-millimeter NATO ammunition, standard for the M60 machine gun. Shells are all over his Tokyo pizzeria, even strewn around the ladies’ room. I used to love firing 7.62-millimeter rounds from an M60 machine gun.

I told him I’d been in Vietnam. True. I told him

I’d fired off hundreds of 7.62-millimeter rounds. Also true. It just happened that I’d fired them in training, not in battle. In fact, I’d seen a lot more pizza than combat in Vietnam. No reason he had to know that.

Kakinuma, one of the best pizzaioli in Tokyo, is the owner of Seirinkan and an authority on Naples-style pies. I know a lot about pizza, too.

I once spent a week in Naples, fascinated by its pizza ovens. They are crazy hot, ingot hot, but while I was there, timing every pie I ordered, none came out in less than seventy seconds.

I asked him how long his took.

“Sixty seconds,” he said.

“Impossible,” I replied.

He smiled confidently.

In went the pie. Out came the pie. Sixty seconds. Not fifty-nine or sixty-one. He said his oven was probably 900 degrees.

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Chef Susumu Kakinuma of Seirinkan works his miracle pizza oven

I could not have been more impressed. In honor of our instantaneous friendship, he asked me to follow him, and he led me down a spiral staircase to the basement. He slid back a door marked private (in English). Inside was a tiny bar, a shrine to Gene Krupa, complete with a few of his drums.

I had found paradise. Upstairs, Kakinuma prepares two kinds of pizza, marinara and Margherita, because that’s what you get at his favorite pizzeria in Naples. (I preferred the marinara, because the tomato sauce and garlic were so vivid.) His crusts are soft, chewy, puffy, slightly charred, and incredibly tender.

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Pizza at Seirinkan

Seirinkan—roughly translated, it means House of Hollywood—is primarily a tribute to Jules Verne. It looks a little like a submarine. The oven resembles those on coal-fired boats or trains. Outside, by the entrance, are a camp table and chairs, maybe military, British-made. Upstairs are old Soviet military posters. The indoor chairs appear as though they were salvaged from an abandoned church—they’re wooden and have little pockets that could hold prayer books. The walls are painted battleship gray.

Kakinuma, who is 49, told me that he learned to make pizza by eating pizza. He said, “Almost fifteen years ago, I was eating out in Naples. Not cooking, just eating out. For one year, I had at least a pizza a day, every day.”

And so he came home and built a pizzeria. With all the accoutrements.

You might call the man obsessive. I don’t believe he would take offense. In Japan, such compulsiveness is said to result from an oppressive society that disapproves of personal expression. Schools are regimented. Jobs, historically, are for life. A section of society tests boundaries. Individuals break away, desperately in need of singularity.

Kakinuma also liked me, I suspect, because of my obsession with the cooking time of a Naples pizza.

Down in his tiny bar, maybe 200 square feet of space with a half-dozen red velvet barstools, tiny red-shaded sconces, and a miniature red velvet couch, he has a DVD player and a small movie screen. He put on Silk Stockings with Fred Astaire and left me there, confident I would be happy. He said, “When the customers come down here, they don’t want to leave.”

Now you understand. This wasn’t my favorite restaurant in Tokyo. This was my favorite place in Tokyo.

*****

kakinuma might be on the fringe of society, but he’s really very Japanese, not an anomaly at all. In his own peculiar and immoderate manner, he is a practitioner of The Way. To the Japanese, that means doing things right. They are not inventors as much as they are craftsmen, although that does not do them justice. They perfect. They improve. They burnish.

They have done so with automobiles. With TVs and radios. With comic books. And with food. Today, no city is embracing international cooking more intensely than Tokyo—one estimate puts the number of Italian restaurants at 2,000. It’s a reflection of the awe that the Japanese feel for the most honored cuisines of the world.

I’ve heard repeatedly that the Japanese who apprentice at great restaurants work absurdly long hours without complaint. They learn to replicate the food, and once they return home, they are unwilling to deviate from their training. Out of respect for the traditions of the cuisine they’ve studied, or from lack of confidence in their own worthiness, they slavishly adhere to classic principles. Improvisation, I was told, is not consistent with The Way.

I went to Japan to learn what Japanese chefs were doing with non-Japanese food, and to be honest, I was anticipating more than echoes and imitations. I’ve always felt that the Japanese were too motivated to settle for mere repetition. And when it comes to chefs, I don’t know many so unimaginative that they will remain uninspired.

My plan was to learn how the Japanese dealt with the food of Italy, France, and China. Those are the cuisines that travel best, or at least most frequently. (I thought of adding Mexican to the list but gave up shortly after arriving in Tokyo and having lunch at a kitschy joint where the Japanese waitresses dressed like Aztec sacrifices.)

I wanted Japanese chefs only. And I wanted Japanese-owned restaurants. Even though high-end chains, particularly those with French credentials, have been accepted unconditionally in Tokyo, I wanted no part of them. (Nobody should want any part of them.) I had plenty of choices, too. Tokyo has about 160,000 restaurants, far more than any American or European city. The simple explanation: Almost all of them are small.

I couldn’t hope to be comprehensive, but I wasn’t the only visitor so challenged. While I was there, Michelin released a guide to Tokyo restaurants that was shockingly sketchy. It didn’t attempt to make sense of the city, as Michelin has always done elsewhere. The reviewers listed the 150 restaurants they liked best, gave them all stars, added a few meaningless platitudes, and left. It reminded me of the best advice given America during the Vietnam War: Declare victory and go home.

I understand how daunting Michelin’s undertaking must have been. I probably couldn’t have located any restaurants without assistance. It’s important to know this if you are traveling to Tokyo: If you expect to leave your hotel, hop into a taxi, hand the driver an address, walk into a restaurant, and select a meal, you could not be more ill-informed.

The taxi drivers couldn’t find Mount Fuji if it was staring them in the face, which it is. (And they have GPS in their cabs.) The restaurants seldom offer any language other than Japanese—you’ll be lucky to find a French or Italian menu anywhere French or Italian food is sold. The streets rarely have signs, and the buildings are cursed with a numbering system that is incomprehensible even to the Japanese.

I had guides: Shinji Nohara, a Tokyo food writer who led me on most of my expeditions, and Yukari Pratt, a chef, wine authority, and journalist. I selected my restaurants based on advice from them and other Japanese experts. Everywhere we went, with few exceptions, Nohara or Pratt had been before. They got to places new to them by sticking their heads out taxi windows and asking strangers for directions. Tokyo is that tough. Nohara was determined to teach me the subway system, but after he accomplished that not-too-difficult mission, I still remained helpless.

One sunny afternoon, after I’d been in the city for more than a week, I left my hotel on a solo adventure: I sought lunch.

I had one of those little maps that hotels hand out to guests. The concierge had precisely marked the location of a particular restaurant. I had its name written in both English and Japanese.

For nearly two hours, I walked the streets, searching. Finally, hopelessly lost and frustrated, I walked dispiritedly into a McDonald’s and had the McPork sandwich, a minced-pork patty with sticky sauce on the hundred-yen menu. Well, I did say I was there to eat foreign food.

*****

ristorante terauchi is one place in Tokyo not difficult to find. It’s across the street from an American military compound, Hardy Barracks, and you’re likely to see, as I did, a helicopter landing to drop off American VIPs. This distresses the oft-protesting locals, and I sympathize with them—if I lived in the heart of Manhattan, I wouldn’t appreciate Japanese choppers landing on my block to drop off Japanese admirals.

Ristorante Terauchi is expensive, too. You have undoubtedly heard about the high cost of dining in Tokyo. At Terauchi, so Tuscan it might well be in Florence, I rashly accepted a suggestion from my waiter that I upgrade a plate of sliced meats from normal to deluxe. The charge rose from $29 to $58.

The specialty of this stucco-walled establishment is grilled meats, but I thought the best preparations of owner Masayuki Terauchi were grilled vegetables, chicken-liver crostini, and pasta with white truffles, only a few dollars more than pasta without white truffles. “Truffles are normal in this restaurant,” Terauchi told me. I wasn’t quite able to determine how food was priced in Tokyo restaurants—randomly, I suspect. At this sixteen-seat, open-kitchen Italian spot, I seemed to have paid more for cold cuts than for white truffles.

Terauchi was the first of numerous chefs I met who had no formal training in the cuisines they were preparing but had learned independently. He once traveled through Italy for an intense month and a half, spending $30,000 on Italian food.

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Ristorante Terauchi's pasta with truffles

One of the genuine bargains in Tokyo is a friendly, modern neighborhood spot called Ostü, close to the exemplary Park Hyatt hotel—you know it from the film Lost in Translation. The chef, Masato Miyane, worked for six years in Italian restaurants, including the wonderful Al Bersagliere in Lombardy, and also at Locanda Nel Borgo Antico in Barolo, where, he said, “I drank a lot of wine.” He makes four or five kinds of fresh pasta daily.

I ordered a small three-course luncheon menu for about $17 and splurged by requesting my pasta with black truffles, a $4.50 option. Try finding that kind of bargain in Italy. Miyane’s rationale for becoming an Italian chef was fundamental. “When I was a child growing up, I preferred pizza and pasta,” he said.

I ate only one poor meal in Tokyo, at the well-regarded Acqua Pazza. The dining area is belowground, which wouldn’t be terrible had the designers made some effort to make it feel as though it were not belowground. I have to concede that for a subterranean restaurant, Acqua Pazza attracts a fashionable clientele.

The evening I went in, a group of businessmen were dining in a private room, and several geeky guys wearing high-top sneakers and knit watch caps pulled low over their eyes were dining with their families, a baby included. Over the course of the meal, one of them took off his sneakers, which would have detracted from the ambience if Acqua Pazza had any. The kid and I were both on the verge of crying, but for different reasons.

In my case, it was the wine list. Acqua Pazza offered the most overpriced bottle of wine I saw in Tokyo, perhaps the most overpriced wine I’ve seen in my life. It was a 1990 Gaja Barbaresco for about $7,000, around twenty times retail. I assumed it was there in the faint hope that a Japanese businessman dining with a big-haired hostess picked up in a Ginza bar would wish to dazzle her with his wealth, although the restaurant later claimed it was a misprint. The real price was $700, not enough to impress a hostess with big hair.

Should you decide to patronize this establishment, I recommend avoiding the wine list. I also recommend avoiding the freshly made squid-ink pasta. It was bleeding ink that inundated everything, including the cuff of my jacket. The preparation included mushrooms and diced squid, both absolutely black, whether from the ink or from natural causes I could not determine. A tasty fried-basil topping survived unstained.

After evading a hard sell of grilled oysters, I agreed to the signature dish, “today’s catch in a sizzling water.” The water, laced with bits of clams, dried tomatoes, olives, and capers, was fine. The fish was overdone, basically mush. Acqua Pazza reminded me of a style of Italian dining so often encountered in America, the overwrought and overpriced caricature. The other Italian restaurants I tried were clearly in search of authenticity, which is invariably the smartest plan. Italian food rarely rewards experimentation.

Still, I was hoping for something more than mimicry—a little creativity is always excusable. It’s also necessary, because the flavor of Italian products is so difficult to duplicate in other countries. When in search of Italian restaurants outside Italy, I always hope to stumble upon chefs who capture the spirit of Italy, and none did that nearly as well as Tomofumi Saito of Il Ristorante Nella Pergola. His restaurant is sleek, modern, and understated, and he is a chef of near zealous passion.

I got the impression that the man rarely sleeps, so busy is he perfecting his cuisine. “I’m Japanese,” he said. “My mind-set is how to think about life and pursue perfection—how can I as a Japanese person make it better. I work late to make that point.” He, his wife, and three assistants operate this fourteen-seat restaurant on the ground floor of a medium-rise building across from a convenience store. That won’t help you find it, since most of Tokyo appears to consist of medium-rise buildings across the street from convenience stores. (Usually, these convenience stores are packed with grown men standing by the magazine racks, rapturously reading comic books.)

Nella Pergola has an oversize reception area where more tables could go if Saito was of a mind to add them, a large table in the -center of the room holding digestifs and wines by the glass where more tables could go, plus a glassed-in garden where I thought more tables could go, but I was told that was forbidden by the landlord. Quite a country: Profit isn’t everything, even to property owners.

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A sautéed sardine at Il Ristorante Nella Pergola

From the first plate—not melon with cured pork but melon sorbet with cured pork, a concession to a warm evening—I knew this was it. If Saito’s food doesn’t taste exactly like that of Italy, it is purely because so many of his products are local, and nobody would deem that a weakness. I don’t think I’ve had an Italian tomato the equal of his Japanese tomatoes. I was elated by a meaty sardine and by a lightly breaded, abnormally juicy veal chop. When I called his food special, he called it the food of normal life, an exquisite definition of Italian cuisine.

Saito is also the pastry chef, and his deconstructed tiramisu—a skeletal chocolate biscuit, mascarpone cream, coffee granita—might be the best that hoary old dessert has been. He learned his craft in northern Italy and picked up lessons in press relations from Cesare Giaccone, one of the true eccentrics of Italian cuisine, a man who rejects attention. Maybe that’s why Saito didn’t seem particularly impressed when I told him that his was my favorite Italian restaurant in Japan.

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Dessert at Il Ristorante Nella Pergola

*****

if any cuisine in Japan does not fit the image of what a local diner would appreciate, it’s French. Yet the food has been embraced unreservedly and rapturously—possibly because the Japanese venerate such chefs as Joël Robuchon and Paul Bocuse. French food is full of cream and butter, which Japanese food is not. It’s prepared exuberantly, in contrast to Japanese food, which is often so restrained it seems not to exist. Portions are plentiful and fixed-price meals staggeringly large—the Japanese appear to possess the appetites of midwestern truck drivers.

Kazuhiko Kinoshita, chef-owner of the restaurant Kinoshita, offers fixed-price meals of extraordinary value and astounding complexity. I selected a nine-course menu, nothing extraordinary by Japanese standards, and happily noticed that it included an intermezzo of a carrot puree under a light tomato gelée. Japanese chefs embrace all culinary possibilities in the French repertoire, including the largely abandoned concept of the palate-cleansing intermezzo. I suspect they leave nothing out for fear they might be accused of parsimony. Table settings give a hint of the quantity to come: At one point during my meal, I counted eight forks, knives, and spoons surrounding my plate.

Kinoshita resembles one of those angry sushi chefs of legend. He stands glumly behind the counter of his open kitchen, his head semi-shaven, as though he hasn’t gotten around to sprucing up. The extent of his visible attire is a white T-shirt and a stained apron. I admired the no-nonsense look.

His restaurant seats about thirty, and the decor is unremarkable, although that might be giving it too much credit. A wreath made of wine corks graces the wall just inside the door. The ceiling has exposed pipes and the banquettes appear to be cushioned in red velveteen. Oddly enough, I admired this look, too.

This might be the best spot in the city to drink high-quality French wine: 1985 Krug champagne, about $330, which is less than retail; 2002 J.-F. Coche-Dury Meursault, about $210, less than retail; 2001 Ponsot Clos de la Roche Vieilles Vigne, $170, about retail. It’s also one of the best spots in Japan to eat: No starter I had surpassed his savory leek blancmange surrounded by an intensely rich shrimp bisque. That preparation summed up his style: complicated, intense, yet wondrously light. The salmon was heavily smoked yet ethereally delicate, topped with frizzled potatoes. He offers foie gras two ways, the terrine with a caramelized-sugar topping and a sautéed version atop mushrooms (with more shaved truffles, which again seemed to cost nothing at all).

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Smoked salmon topped with frizzled potatoes at Kinoshita

Kinoshita, who is 49, came to the profession late, when he was 30, and learned a great deal from cookbooks, including those of Joël Robuchon, which might account for the intricacy of his dishes. He told me he became a French chef because “I thought French chefs were cool and I would impress people by being one.” Then he smiled slightly. “Once I became a chef, I realized it was not so cool, you don’t make much money, and it is tough. But it is a great job.”

His food has flourishes, but they are subtle ones: “I cannot get rid of the classic because it is the basic, the backbone. Human beings cannot live without backbones.” He admitted that he does not stray far from the traditional, because he hasn’t been to France and worries about criticism from those who would say such a chef is not qualified to rework French recipes.

For sheer quantity of substantial French food at a very good price, about $80 per person, I appreciated L’Ami du Vin “Eno,” which has an utterly perplexing menu that I never did figure out. The wine list is good. The service isn’t, inasmuch as there isn’t much of it. One gentleman was waiting on all tables, trying to transport massive quantities of food. He was, I suspect, the owner, and he apologized, saying, “It’s just me.”

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The foie gras terrine was well-balanced, the turbot expertly grilled, and the crusts on both the sweet and savory pies wonderful. The chef’s weakness is his sauces, consistently thin. L’Ami du Vin “Eno” reminds me of those restaurants that could be found decades ago across the street from French train stations, catering to travelers passing through town.

The epitome of Japanese dining is Kitajimatei, minute and hidden, thoughtful and respectful, elegant and cautious. It should not be missed if you can locate it. The taxi driver, baffled, let Nohara and me off a block away, and we walked down a street that wasn’t more than an alley, finally coming to a faded yellow canopy. The dining area has a few decorative items a little better than flea-market quality, plus ice-cream-parlor chairs. Table settings are splendid. I loved the amuse-bouche, a buttery croissant with an anchovy tucked inside.

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Kitajimatei's anchovy-croissant amuse-bouche

The first plate from chef-owner Motoyuki Kitajima, who trained at the monumental French restaurants Troisgros and Georges Blanc, appeared to be his signature dish—sea urchin in consommé with a garnish of cauliflower cream, the essence of silkiness. He then brought out a huge whole snapper that he’d gotten from the fish market that morning, an irresistible offering, sliced off a chunk, and panfried it. The promise of fish this fresh sounded hard to beat, but the preparation was overseasoned, reminiscent of Indian food. The beef was Wagyu, and out came a Laguiole knife to slice it, though it was so tender no such implement was required. Dessert was roasted chestnuts, exquisite green grapes, and Asian pears. I think this restaurant, more than any other, made me understand how artfully Japanese and French tastes can merge. They were almost seamless in Kitajima’s kitchen.

Quintessence was the most prominent of the restaurants I visited. It had just gotten three stars from Michelin, and the entrance to an otherwise stark and minimalist establishment was crammed with bouquets sent by well-wishers, lending much-needed color and warmth. Chef Shuzo Kishida, 33, once worked at Astrance, a relatively new three-star in Paris, and the restaurants operate similarly: The chef selects your menu. The only choices you get at Quintessence are wine and water—fourteen kinds of bottled water, in fact.

Of all the dishes I ate there, the one I will not forget is the duck—incredibly juicy, accompanied by a mustard-walnut-mango sauce much less aggressive than it sounds, a sauce that did not detract from the brilliance of this duck. It was duck from France, a country that knows its duck in the same way that Japan knows its fish.

*****

in tokyo, ladies lunch, more passionately than in New York or Los Angeles. You might be under the impression that men run Japan, but not the households and particularly not the household finances. As a Japanese woman explained it to me, “The women go to lunch and talk about how hard they work for their kids, what bags they bought, and bitch about their husbands.” Funny that no matter how far you go, even halfway around the world, nothing changes.

Wives allocate money to their husbands to spend at work and for a few drinks after work—nobody wants the husband home too early, because that shows he isn’t successful or, worse, that he’s been fired. While the husbands are away, the ladies lunch. If the women are young, not married, and living at home, they’re more likely to go out to lunch, because they have so much disposable income.

One of the most fashionable and unusual luncheon stops is Shirokane Ryuan, which is in a section of Tokyo comparable to Manhattan’s Upper East Side. The specialty of this Chinese restaurant is collagen, the structural protein that holds the body together, usually with difficulty in old age. This lovely restaurant, across from a park and overhung with branches and leaves, is where women become young again through proper diet. The owner, Masanori Nasu, looks, acts, and sounds like Pat Morita’s Mr. Miyagi from The Karate Kid. He is both serious about the healing power of his food and amused by the expectations of his customers.

“I have a lot of overweight customers come in and think they can become skinny by eating here,” he explained. “I have customers who are 92 years old coming in and saying, ‘I want to have pretty skin. What soup do I eat to make my skin beautiful?’ ”

When I expressed doubt that his cuisine could work miracles on one such as me, Nasu studied me. He is 57 years old. He did a full split at my table, then raised his leg over his head.

“Martial arts?” I asked.

“Modern ballet,” he joked. (He speaks more English than he lets on.)

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Masanori Nasu of Shirokane Ryuan sips his platinum elixir

He is a former public-relations executive who by happenstance got into the unusual business of anti-aging gastronomy. He prepares food from historical recipes and adds a little spin, naming some of the dishes after famous beauties (who aren’t around to claim royalties). The interior of this serene restaurant has screened-in private-dining compartments and a matted floor. He walks around in a samue, a Japanese robe traditionally worn by temple monks.

Nasu’s food is colorful. He claims that’s because in days gone by, before the understanding of vitamins and other nutritional properties, people instinctively knew that eating food of many colors would ensure a well-rounded, nourishing diet. “Modern medicine focuses on one thing. Old-time medicine was the whole package,” he explained. Most of what I ate there was recognizable Chinese food, somewhat rustic but flavorful and vigilantly prepared. My dumplings were filled with pork, shark’s fin, and shark’s lip—plenty of collagen there. His recommendation for me was a soup to enhance virility.

A modest-size bowl of this potion, which he claimed took three days to prepare, cost $65. It was made from ham, pork, scallops, and melted deer antlers, which supposedly have effective anti-aging properties. The broth was superb, perhaps the best and certainly the costliest consommé of my lifetime—although now that I’ve drunk it, I’m sure I’ll have extra decades to consume plenty more. I noticed something immersed in my bowl, something weird, something that I half-jokingly said resembled the worm in a bottle of mescal.

Turned out I wasn’t far off. It was, he explained, the remains of a high-altitude hibernating bug that is attacked by a fungus and becomes a mushroom. That was the beastie in my broth. Eating it supposedly transfers into the wan body of the recipient the strength of an animal able to exist in the mountains of Tibet at an altitude of 13,000 feet.

I ate it. It was fine, but I wondered who else would appreciate such an esoteric treat.

“French people,” said Nasu. “We get written up in a lot of fashion magazines. I don’t know why.”

I thought the Chinese food of Tokyo was less bound by rituals and traditions than the French or Italian, and I could only guess at the explanation: more familiarity, less awe. The Japanese chefs concentrating on Chinese food seem entirely comfortable with their responsibilities, less restrained than they would have been if they were preparing Japanese food.

Chef-owner Takeshi Kobayashi of the Chinese restaurant Momo-No-Ki, which features Hong Kong (Cantonese) and Shanghai (eastern regional) cuisine, told me that when he started out, he dreamed of being a French chef with a toque “because I thought those guys were so cool.” Then he became smitten with the variety, the techniques, and the regional differences of Chinese. “I did not want to do Japanese food, which is beautiful and tastes good, but there is a way to do everything, all predetermined, and you have to play by the rules,” he said. “There is space in Chinese cuisine to show yourself. The heat is strong, and the food can change drastically, so the personality of the chef comes through.”

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Momo-No-Ki

Momo-No-Ki, like most of the restaurants I visited, is simple in design. And like most others, it boasts an open kitchen, which is highly unusual in a Chinese restaurant, where one tends not to want to observe too many details of how food is prepared. The room has blond chairs, framed calligraphy, odd wall scribblings, and exceptionally unattractive plastic tablecloths. Dangling from hooks at the perimeter of the kitchen were house-cured unsmoked bacon and a fuzzy foodstuff that resembled the stuffing from an old couch but turned out to be the dried skin of an obscure (and apparently very large) citrus fruit.

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Momo-No-Ki

Service was kind, although overly efficient. The cold chicken in black vinegar, very Shanghai, was on the table before my guest and I had ordered our entire meal. To be fair to the restaurant, it did take us a while to decipher the menu.

Kobayashi says most Tokyo chefs with Chinese restaurants tone down flavors, since the Japanese palate is used to subtlety. He deliberately does not. He piles on coriander, an herb he says is too aggressive for most Japanese. The chicken was vibrant and the black-vinegar sauce sublime. He’s skilled at sauces, not ordinarily a virtue of Chinese kitchens, and I don’t doubt he would have made a fabulous saucier, had he stuck to his original plan of becoming a French chef.

His soup dumplings, a Shanghai staple, had fantastically delicate wrappers, and his pork dumplings were perhaps more subdued and Japanese than he realized. His sweet-and-sour pork was wondrous, unlike any I’d ever had. The chunk of soft braised meat came with a coating so caramelized it was nearly black.

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Momo-No-Ki's pork dumplings in soup

Leaving his restaurant, Pratt and I stumbled over one of the iconic images of Tokyo. There are quite a few, including the gaudy lights of the Roppongi entertainment district and the snowcapped symmetry of Mount Fuji. Another is the moaning Japanese patron, polluted with alcohol. Crouched on the steps leading up to the door of Momo-No-Ki, where a sign reads chinese cuisine for your good health, was a drunk Japanese businessman, suit jacket missing, forehead shining, head in hands, groaning pitiably.

He was not a victim of the food but of the legendary Japanese inability to process alcohol as rapidly as legendary Japanese businessmen like to drink alcohol. I have always wondered why they don’t slow down, and I heard one plausible explanation: Only when low-level businessmen are drunk are they permitted to tell off their high-level bosses; it is inexcusable when sober.

We did not stop to help. That would have been wrong. We stepped around him, as is right and proper, for in Japan, that which one pretends not to see can be said not to exist.

*****

dining multiculturalism in Japan almost certainly started at Shiseido Parlour, in the Ginza district. The menu features standards that few fine American restaurants bother with any longer: beef Stroganoff, meat and seafood croquettes, and fried sole, to name a few. Long before the invasion of celebrity chefs from France, Italy, and America, Arinobu Fukuhara, a former head pharmacist to the Imperial Japanese Navy, visited the United States and Europe and devised a thrilling concept that was unveiled in 1902. It soon became fashionable.

But let my awed waiter at Shiseido Parlour tell you about it: “He combined a pharmacy and a café!”

This gentleman stared at me, expecting my eyes to glow. I didn’t want to break his heart by telling him that the idea was stolen from America, where every town boasted a combination drugstore–soda shop until chain pharmacies drove them out of business. The Tokyo soda fountain evolved into a restaurant of consummate elegance, located in the Shiseido Building and operated by one of the oldest cosmetics companies in the world. The cuisine is yoshoku—Western food.

The room appears very Park Avenue, mostly shades of yellow and gold. The flatware is Christofle. The white tablecloths are embossed. The space between tables is luxurious. The staff could not be more polite or solicitous. A woman I brought to dinner told me that people of a certain class always courted in the Ginza district, and that Shiseido Parlour is where such couples brought their parents. To the Japanese, oddly enough, Shiseido Parlour is a place of memory. To me, the soothing familiarity of the room alone made it was worth a visit.

I had a clear broth packed with wild mushrooms and perked up with bits of home-cured ham. It was American comfort food without being American at all. The ham croquettes—very Midwest—were fat and puffy and came in a smooth sauce that reminded me of Campbell’s tomato soup. A slow-cooked rice-and-beef assemblage called “hashed beef and rice” said 1950. The butter cookies couldn’t be beat.

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Desserts at Shiseido Parlour: a macaroon (above) and gâteau aux fraises (below)

The food is expensive—about $45 for fresh prawns with tartar sauce—but a luncheon menu available for under $40 includes many of the famous preparations and should not be missed. I learned that with care, it is possible to eat at least as well in Tokyo as I do in New York for about the same price. The style just happens to be different: Manhattan has moved toward high-concept, corporate-run, over-ornamented behemoths. Tokyo has small, austere, chef-owned establishments.

We hear from Manhattan chefs that small, precious, jewel-box restaurants can no longer survive because of the rising costs of rent. Tokyo, I believe, is at least Manhattan’s equal in cost of living, yet many of the best restaurants I visited were precisely in this style—intimate and operated by a chef who seldom leaves his kitchen and certainly has no consulting businesses or lines of cookware on the side. Clearly, Japanese and American chefs define ambition in different ways.

You might also have heard that the products in Tokyo are exquisite and pricey. It’s certainly true in the fabled specialty-food shops, where I saw muskmelons—as best I can tell, they’re given as presents to elderly relatives in hospitals—going for up to $150 apiece. The price of apples and grapes scared me, too. Yet in restaurants, I found truffles treated like an everyday condiment, and the beef on fixed-price menus was invariably Wagyu, without supplemental charge. In Tokyo, such extravagances are thought of as an essential aspect of cuisine, not an alternative means of raising cash.

Without question, all the chefs I met were modest, as I had been led to believe they would be. Kishida, who became an instant icon after Quintessence received three stars from Michelin, clearly improvises. Some of his food was deconstructed. Most appetizers were oddly monochromatic—the extreme simplicity of his decor echoed in the appearance of the food. Some was foamed. Much was whimsical. Yet when I suggested to him that his style was a redefinition of the classical, certainly in presentation, he looked at me as though it were an accusation and replied, politely, “No, no, very natural—simple and natural.” Humility prevailed wherever I went.

Tokyo chefs are clearly more cautious than those in America or Europe, both with their words and with their cooking, but by no means are they constrained. Often they tweak classic recipes to suit the local palate or to incorporate seasonal products. Sometimes—cured pork with melon sorbet is an example—they actually seem capable of having fun.

Tokyo brought back memories of a time when America was just beginning to understand that cuisines of other countries could be absorbed, then suitably modified. In the ’80s and ’90s, America expressed itself with exuberance. Tokyo today is about generosity and excellence. The city is impenetrable and daunting, but the restaurants are familiar and down-to-earth.


FIVE DISHES NOT TO MISS

Uniin cold consommé with cauliflower cream
Kitajimatei
Faultless sea urchin, as you’d expect in Japan, in a cold, clear chicken broth garnished with a cream so light I barely knew it was there. So elegant, so exquisitely Japanese-French.

Chicken-liver crostini
Ristorante Terauchi
It’s more than just liver on toast; it’s the fundamental start to every Tuscan meal. This version tasted as though the chef had slipped in another kind of liver—foie gras. Chicken liver never tasted so good in Italy.

Sweet-and-sour pork
Momo-no-ki
During the first third of my life, syrupy, goopy American-style sweet-and-sour pork was my favorite restaurant dish. Momo-No-Ki’s vastly superior version is caramelized rather than sugarcoated and more tart (from black vinegar) than sweet. If you like braised meats, you’ll love this.

Fillet of smoked salmon topped with frizzled potatoes
Kinoshita
How can a slab of fish so thick and so smoky vanish in the mouth as though it were nothing but air? Crisp on the outside, juicy within, and resting in a lemon-cream sauce.

Fatty Tuna
Sushi Dai, Tsukiji Fish Market
I didn’t go to Tokyo to eat Japanese food, but isn’t sushi really considered California cuisine these days? There’s always a line and sometimes a wait of a few hours, but you can’t beat the quality or the price (thirteen pieces plus miso soup for $35).


From the March 2008 issue of GQ.
Photographs by Ditte Isager

Got a beef with Alan Richman?
In need of food-and-wine advice? E-mail him at AlanRichman@GQ.com. He’ll respond each week right here on ‘Forked’


Risotto in New York

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Alan,

That was a great article in the 50th-anniversary GQ issue on the 7 temples of dining ["The Seven Temples of the Food World," October 2007, pg.406], I have dined at three of them. Being a Philly guy, I remember you from the old Bulletin, and was wondering if you could recommend a great place for risotto in New York City.

Thanks so much,
Bryan Abrams

This question comes from a Philly guy who loves Italian food and is desperate for rice dishes. (He made me recall that I’ve never seen risotto on a menu in Philadelphia, my hometown.) First of all, if you want risotto, don’t go to New York’s Little Italy. But you can go almost anywhere else. Three risotto stalwarts are Il Cantinori, Il Nido, and Felidia—that last one is the restaurant of the famous TV chef Lidia Bastianich. Here are two more tips: If your risotto hits the table in under 20 minutes, it’s not being made from scratch. And if you’re a fan of the ingredients that go into risotto rather than the rice itself, look for French restaurants that put it on the menu. It’s almost always swooningly rich.


Got a beef with Alan Richman?
In need of food-and-wine advice? E-mail him at AlanRichman@GQ.com. He’ll respond each week right here on ‘Forked’


Where to Eat in San Francisco and Napa

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Dear Alan,

My wife and I are going to Napa and San Francisco for a week. Could you recommend some places to eat?

Thanks,
John Vazquez
Loyal GQ reader for over 20 years

Local Kitchen & Wine Merchant
330 First Street, San Francisco
415-777-4200 (restaurant); 415-777-4212 (wine store)

This place opened this past December. I haven't been there, but I'm not surprised to hear raves. Here's why: People who care intensely about wine tend to feel the same about food—they are usually picky and demanding and relentless, the same qualities needed to source great growers and wineries.

A16
2355 Chestnut Street. San Francisco
415-771-2216

This is the kind of restaurant that Mario Batali-style dining begat—small, crowded, chic, informal, noisy, and absolutely appealing. Great wines. Good pizza. Pork and cured meats all over the place. It's supposedly the cuisine of Campagna, but it's really the food of Nate Appleman, who sure doesn't sound Italian but cooks as though he were.

Terra
1345 Railroad Avenue
St. Helena
707-963-8931

Chef Hiro Sone was doing Asian fusion cuisine before most people knew fusion was a culinary term. Elegant, refined, relaxed, and wonderfully satisfying. Terra is now in its 20th year, the longest-running great restaurant in America's wine country.

Bistro Don Giovanni
4110 Howard Lane
Napa
707-224-3300

No offense to the restaurant, I hope, but you might be suspicious of the appearance: generically cute, upper-middle-class Italian. You might also expect the food to be not much different from the routine fare dished out at tens of thousands of identical-looking Italian-American spots, but you'll be shocked at how good it is. Don't miss the Bistro Burger, one of the best hamburgers in America, exquisitely charcoal-grilled.


Got a beef with Alan Richman?
In need of food-and-wine advice? E-mail him at AlanRichman@GQ.com. He’ll respond each week right here on ‘Forked’


Detective Story

Miami police were baffled by the motives of a customer who pulled up to the window at a Wendy's drive-through, got his meal, then started an argument over chili sauce.

First, he was angry because he wasn't given any right away.

When he finally got some, he wanted more. The Wendy's clerk told him that store policy mandated no more than three packets. He insisted on ten. The clerk complied. The guy kept arguing. The manager came out. He shot the manager—not fatally. He then made his getaway, presumably clut