Tracy Morgan on YouTube: The Greatest Hits
by Raha Naddaf

1. El Paso Newscast

In this local-news interview gone batshit, Morgan's stream-of-consciousness ramblings about El Paso strippers and Vietnam amputees leave the anchor—and an off-camera staffer—a guffawing mess. Most priceless moment: when Morgan catches a glimpse of himself in a monitor and declares, "I'm handsome. Now I can see why I've got so many kids…. Somebody's gonna get pregnant while I'm in town…. Ladies, my Mercedes!" Seconds later, he's shirtless and quietly dancing.

2. 'Blackass'

Morgan plays a Johnny Knoxville-esque character who won't actually do anything dicey. When one stunt requires him to shove hay down his pants to entice a horse, he punches the animal in the face. Asked to jump into a swimming pool, he simply replies, "No." And when he has to dunk his head in a toilet bowl and eat a goldfish, he stomps out of the bathroom stall, yelling, "Y'all out of your motherfucking mind!"

3. 'Totally Awesome' Extras

Apparently, VH1 created a TV movie called Totally Awesome. It's totally unwatchable, save for a few outtakes in which a Jheri-curled Morgan tries to determine whether a white dude could be more black. Gems include "You ever got a female pregnant when you was, like, 7?… Have you ever fist-fought your pediatrician?… Have things in your house gotten so bad that you've resorted to eating a baseball cleat?"

4. 'Jimmy Kimmel Live'

Part One:

Part Two:

In the fourteen minutes it takes to do this interview, Morgan manages to name-check Flip Wilson, gloat about his kids' virginity, and explain how much love there is between Luke and Han Solo. Then there's this tangent: "I'm a freak. You know, yesterday I bought one of them leather masks with the zipper right here [gesturing toward his mouth] and a zipper on the back," adding, "somebody tonight is going to throw 2,000 grapes at my butt cheeks."