Q: I can be a messy eater, and I have begun to tuck my napkin into my shirt, bibstyle, at restaurants. My wife says I look like a geriatric. What do you think?

A: I always put a napkin under the chin of my 7-year-old when he’s eating tomato sauce, but I assume you have more than a dozen years’ eating experience on him. By now you should be able to eat without making a horrible mess. I confess that I often wind up with something on my shirt or tie, and grease spots have made me a steady customer of Tiecrafters, but I write that off to the cost of doing business, and at least I don’t look stupid in a restaurant. If the establishment offers lobster bibs, you may certainly avail yourself without guilt. When I see guys chowing down with linen prophylaxes, though, the word boor comes to mind. Next thing you know, guys will be asking to have the waiter cut their meat.

November 2007

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