Q: I frequently find myself amid a large crowd trying to get the attention of at least one of the multiple bartenders. It’s not easy. What is a polite and gentlemanly way to get a bartender’s attention?

A: Unfortunately, polite tactics are often less effective than more boorish ones, but here are some things to consider. Getting position is most important. Get behind whoever is being helped and try to slip in so that you’re actually touching the bar, then extend yourself to full territorial breadth, with your arms on the bar. One hand should contain a fairly large amount of cash. At this point, you must make eye contact with the bartender and send out a psychic paging beam. If you frequent a bar, you will probably find that generous gratuities and simple drink orders enhance the barkeep’s future ability to find you.

April 2001

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