Q: Hey, Style Guy, you seem like a free-spirited sort of dude. What’s your take on going commando in the summertime? You know, freeballing. Is it okay? Unsanitary? Unsafe? Chicks seem to do it. Any reason we can’t? Any types of pants or shorts that are better or worse for it?

A: My first reaction is, Why? I can think of no advantage to dispensing with one’s drawers. I doubt that commando is cooler, at least in the physical sense. Soft, lightweight absorbent cotton would seem to protect Private Johnson on hot days. Is it unsanitary? Well, there is the risk of skid marks on the seersucker. Unsafe? In case of groupie attack, underwear offers one more line of defense. And should the little head decide to rear up out of passing lust or torpor, underwear will provide some restraint. As for women, most wear and encourage underwear. Those who occasionally eschew the panty do so, as far as I know, either to avoid panty lines (which are just as easily avoided by wearing a G-string) or to flash their vulgar ho-ness, like Paris Hilton. Personally, I like my lisle-cotton Zimmerli undertrou, which luxuriously cushions my privates and bum from abrasive denim, toothy zippers, and other sartorial hazards. Commando! Real commandos wear briefs.

August 2005

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