Q: What’s the deal with corduroy? Are there different cord widths? I think they’re called Wales, but what are they? I’m skinny. Should I wear wide or thin Wales?

A: Wales with a capital W is a Celtic country immediately to the left of England. Small w wales are cords of pile fabric or the horizontal boards on the sides of a whale boat (not a wale boat). There are narrow wales, regular wales and wide wales. If you’re skinny, take your pick: Wide wales might help you achieve a little volume. If you’re a fatty, forget it. Despite the verticality of the stripes, corduroy will make you look like a sausage, and the sound of your legs rubbing together may invite violence on your person.

September 2000

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