Q: Lately, I’ve noticed ads in which the male model seems to have a significant bulge in the crotch of his pants. Then I saw Al Gore’s crotch looming large on the cover of Rolling Stone. Is this a new fashion?

A: I’ve thought long and hard about this, and I’ve come up with a theory. When you, as ZZ Top so eloquently put it, wake up with wood, it is not a matter of sexual arousal but merely the tissues of the penis getting in some good blood circulation during private time. Perhaps these diurnal erections are caused by synthetic fabrics that don’t breathe properly, leaving one’s Johnson gasping for oxygen. And as far as Al Gore goes, I don’t think that was an erection—just a tiny Secret Service agent.

January 2001

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