Here's something we don't want: the Timex 2154 life index watch. Basically, you put it on your skin, where it reads your biometric stats to determine how much longer you'll be alive. Pretty frightening, but even worse, it appears to be only available in purple.

Equally morbid (if more enjoyable) is 1,000 Ways to Die, premiering tonight on Spike TV. The show combines expert testimony with CGI to show what happens when, say, rattlesnake venom enters the bloodstream. In other words, if you thought the bullet-entry sequence was the Three Kings' highpoint, this is your show.