In the least surprising automotive news of the year so far, sales of Hummers tanked by more than 50 percent between December 2007 and last month, while Mini sales jumped by more than 28 percent during the same period. When it comes to cars, annoyingly small is the new obnoxiously big. But that still doesn't mean I'm going to be putting down a deposit on a new Audi S1, renderings of which just went up on Auto Express.

Sure, the car's specs are as impressive as we've come to expect from an Audi "S" model—thanks to both super- and turbocharging, the 1.4L engine cranks out 200 horsepower yet is expected to return a combined 35 mpg—but I'm having trouble getting past the angry-gnat front fascia. Oh, I get it, tiny cars can be tough too, except—they can't. If I may be permitted a sports analogy, think back to the late-eighties NBA, when grinning mini-warriors like Spud Webb or Muggsy Bogues could actually serve as point guards. Those guys survived on speed, craftiness, and wit. What's more, they knew that when you're 5'6" or 5'3" (respectively), running around with a big, cartoony smile on your face doesn't make you look tough, it makes you look like Marvin the Martian. That's something Audi's design team might want to take to heart as they get to work on the S1 2.0. Of course, that doesn't mean I'm putting my name down for one of those smiley little Mini turbos, either.